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School Uniforms Destroy Girls’ Body Image

by Deborah Cruz 2015/08/18

Have you ever thought about how our daughters’ self-esteem and body image could be affected by the school uniforms or dress code policy? Sounds crazy, right? I mean isn’t that the entire purpose of school uniforms in the first place, to level the playing field; to equalize all children and neutralize all social hierarchy? Isn’t a dress code to keep kids comfortable and tidy.

I have daughters, who have to wear school uniforms. There is no option. I thought this was a great idea when we started school but now, I think it’s stifling and worse, I think it’s causing some damage to my tween’s self-esteem and worse, her body image. It’s bad enough that they are not allowed to even look like girls; no ruffles, no frills or even pale pink polish because it might be “distracting” to boys but now we are even making the clothes to fit like a boy. Someone once told me that I should cut my daughters’ hair because they “read somewhere” that long hair is conducive to rape. I said, no why don’t women teach their sons not to be rapists and to respect women and their bodies. Why should my daughter have to look like a boy so your son doesn’t get any ideas? Why do the girls have to be punished?

But how are school uniforms destroying little girls’ body image, you ask?

This year, it has become almost impossible to find anything that fits my child and believe me; I have tried all the stores and all the sizes. I’m frustrated; my poor daughter is beside herself. She had a growth spurt over the summer and suddenly all of her clothes are too short and tight. So, since I don’t want to send my child to school looking all “Hulk Smash” I decided to try to just buy her some bigger clothes. Makes sense, right? WRONG!

You see, I’ve noticed that for the last few years, the girls’ uniform pants that we bought at Children’s Place were made slightly different than boy uniform pants. It was the little details like a little spandex mixed with the cotton so that the pants could bend and mold to a little girl’s body. Also, little girls’ pants were slightly flared for aesthetics and had a cute little ribbon belt. The pants were perfect. My children have been wearing them for years.

But this year, with all the let’s eliminate labels like “boys” and “girls” campaigns being on trend, nothing fits. It’s not my imagination. They have actually stopped making the pants we previously bought and have gone to a more streamlined look, that happen to look exactly like the boys’ pants. Let’s put it this way, my waif like 8 –year-old who almost blows away with a strong gust of wind and typically wears a size 6X/7 had to buy a size 10, in order to fit.

My poor 10-year-old who typically wears a 12 or a 14 depending on the length of the pants, literally, could not find a pair of pants that fit her in the length and waist. Either they swallowed her whole or fit in the waist but were up to her knees or in one particular worst case scenario, we had to try on a size 14 that was tight on her waist and her butt and then we found out it was a mislabeled 10. With tears in her eyes in the dressing room, she looked at me and said, “Mommy, I just want to be normal. I just want pants that fit to wear to school!” I’ve only noticed this in uniforms, but of course, that’s all I’ve shopped for recently.

My heart broke into one million pieces because I saw every single woman that has come before her and every single little girl that will come after her if we don’t do something to change this NOW! There is plenty of time for her to feel like shit about herself because the fashion and style industry do not cater to normal sized women and they surely don’t cater to tall women, who are neither anorexic or plus sized. Our options are crying in the dressing room while trying to either starve ourselves into see thru micro mini everything, wearing muumuus or dressing like a man. Why do we have to dress according to them? And who the f*ck are they anyways?

Isn’t it enough that our daughters are bombarded by images on television and in the media of starving women as our standard of beauty, now my 10-year-old and 8-year-old are being told their bodies are wrong by fucking uniform pants. And by the way, if there was ever proof that the patriarchy is in charge, just look at a school uniform policy. It is made to inflict embarrassment and shatter self-image by making every little girl feel as ugly and plain as possible.

This is my plea, manufacturers and designers of little girls’ school uniforms

Please stop making school uniforms cut to give our elementary school aged girls doubt in themselves and their bodies.

My daughters are perfect and healthy and beautiful and in one shopping trip, fashion has planted a seed of doubt. I saw her face. I know that look…

If only I could lose 5 pounds, I could fit into those pants!

I didn’t ever want to see that look in her eyes; that partial disgust and doubt of her own body.

It had nothing to do with wanting to be fashionable and every thing to do with just wanting to be normal and wear pants that fit. Why are we allowing the fashion industry to destroy the self-esteem and body image that we have worked so hard to instill in our girls? We pay for these clothes, shouldn’t they be made to fit our bodies not the other way around? The fashion industry works for us.

What are your thoughts on vanity sizing and unisex cuts in girls’ school uniforms?

2015/08/18 5 comments

The Thigh Gap- Thinspiration for the Body Image Obsessed

by Deborah Cruz 2013/04/02

written by Deborah Cruz

This is where it starts: the coveted thigh gap. What the fuck is the thigh gap and how can I get one is what many teens are asking after seeing a recent segment on ABC that suggests that the thigh gap is the it status symbol this season for teen girls. I am here to tell you that the thigh gap is nothing new. Girls have been in pursuit of the thigh gap since the beginning of time. How do I know? Well, I was one of the chosen who had a thigh gap in my early 20’s. It was hard earned and I was proud of it.

2013/04/02 18 comments

Bella Unspoken Truths

One Girls Honest Battle with Eating Disorders and Body Image in College

by Bella 2024/04/11

written by Bella

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Let’s talk about something a lil icky, weight gain. I’m 19-years-old, about to finish my freshman year of university, and medicated. But before I get into all of that, let’s start with some basics. I am 5’10, not nearly as active as when I was ages 10-15, dancing 30 hours a week. I’m busy with work and school, so I usually don’t have time for all 3 meals. I thrive on caffeine and a dream 99% of the time, slaying my classes and trying to be a functional person in my family. But recently when visiting the student clinic for a sinus infection, they took vitals as usual, blood pressure, temperature… and my weight. If I’d never had any predisposition for eating disorders or body image issues, this was enough to set my mind on fire.

Let me tell you, when you are already sick and exhausted the last thing you want to do is be weighed, but we all have to go through it. I try not to look at the scale when being weighed just because I know that I have some struggles with food, weight, and exercise. Now, my lovely, amazing mama tried her damndest due to her own eating disorders to make sure my sister and I grew up body positive, especially in the dance world. That being said, it was just kind of inevitable. Nothing was ever said directly to me, but constantly hearing your standard petite, very thin, best friend constantly be called “fat” or “a whale who eats too much” makes something in your brain flip. It happens just as quickly, if not faster, than turning the light on in your room. You start to think if this is what they think of her, wtf do they think of me?

This was the beginning of the slow an steady hits to my body image.

Now, I never really had an “aha” moment but it definitely started around age 12. Seeing myself in tights and a leotard 6 days a week surrounded by mirrors, oof, it was rough, and I never really discussed it with anyone because my best friend wouldn’t understand, she was nowhere near as “fat” as I was, she could only understand the hurtful insults constantly being heard. Picking clothes to wear everyday now that I’m no longer confined by uniforms, is such a nightmare struggle because I hate everything I put on my body.

I never really brought it up to my mama because she struggled with her own eating disorders and I didn’t want her to feel like she “failed” in a sense that I was feeling this way. When I was 12 that’s when I stopped eating breakfast, just woke up and had my coffee. Lunch consisted of whatever yummy stuff my mom packed for me, because I stopped eating the cafeteria food, and that was enough until 4 or 5 pm-ish when I was home from school/before dance and when I would eat dinner with my family.

The gradual onset of eating disorders is almost unnoticeable in the beginning,.

Now, enough about the origin story and back to the now. I was still, up until this weighing, only consuming coffee for breakfast and then eating dinner with the family. If there was any snacking it would be either another coffee or a granola bar of some sort. Recently though, I’ve been making small changes like a protein shake for breakfast, along with my beloved coffee, a salad for lunch, and then whatever happens to be on the menu for dinner. I try to move, walking around campus when not working on assignments between classes, but here in the midwest I must suffer from mother nature’s wrath and allergy season (which is all year round for this allergy shot girl). That plays a huge role in my ability to walk outside. I try to do lil 15 minute core routines on youtube but your girl is tired when she gets home, ready to pass out on the couch with my fur baby, Stella.

Earlier I mentioned being medicated, I suffer from severe anxiety, depression, insomnia, and terrible/excruciating periods. Periods so bad with radiating pain and numbness in my back and legs caused by cramps that are so severe, I sometimes feel bed bound. At the start of the new year I was lucky enough to be put on and start birth control to try and help manage those symptoms, so I’m no longer debilitated during that time of the month. I also would have very irregular periods due to stress and life, that now is being helped as well along with several other things. But even with a low dosage, adding that medication can play a role in weight gain/distribution. I’m also being treated with mental health medications such as gabapentin and prozac, both of those are known to cause little to no weight gain, but with my luck I’m definitely likely to experience that side effect.

I have to remind myself that I am in control of my actions, reactions and choices.

I decided in March (my birthday month) that I want to make some changes. I want to get in shape and be healthy, because at the end of the day I need to be happy with what I see in the mirror even if it’s not accurate. I feel like there are so many people, women specifically, my age that are experiencing so many changes with moving away for college and balancing work, school, social life, relationships, etc. that many of us neglect simple things like eating healthier and getting our steps in.

With the help of my wonderful therapist and supportive mama, I’m determined to work on these things and try to make myself happy by making a few lifestyle choice changes i.e. when picking out outfits for class, put some thought into it the night before instead of getting frustrated because I have “nothing” to wear ( which we all know is a lie because my bedroom floor discovered in new clothes), running late just to end up in leggings and a sweatshirt. It’s so exhausting and it makes me feel terrible.

Moms, talk to your daughters. Ask them how they feel about themselves when they stand in front of a mirror. I think there needs to be more discussions being held even though they are uncomfortable, but I know I’m not alone. Don’t stop asking, no matter how many times they roll their eyes or brush you off. My mom talks to us about everything, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. She’s taught me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable so that I can be happier and feel more in control of my own life. You can’t just ignore the hard parts, they don’t go away…they just grow and fester and get more uncomfortable. We just face it together and get through it, hopefully, less traumatized and triggered than if we tried to do it alone. We have to create an environment where our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends feel safe to be vulnerable. Because the truth is, body image struggles are all too common, affecting an estimated 50-80% of women.

To think about how I’ve felt this way about myself since I was 12 years old, makes me sad. Just like my mom when I have my own children I’m gonna do the same things as she did. Make sure my kids are comfortable with their bodies and being naked from birth. I wish more than anything that they never think of themselves how I think of myself.

7 years, almost ½ of my life, I’ve hated my body and never said anything about it, because I didn’t want to upset my mom, or trigger my sister to think negatively about herself. The average onset age of eating disorders in women is between 12-25.

Check on the women in your life that are between those ages, ask those older in recovery and ask how they are doing, eating disorders never really go away. It’s a daily battle to make the decision to eat rather than restrict or eliminate meals. This is something I will continue to struggle with for the majority of my life.

One day, I hope I can genuinely be able to say I love myself, but until then I hope this helps others realize they aren’t alone. These feelings and thoughts, while unkind, are common to think. That’s the problem. Beauty standards are set for us since birth and we spend our whole lives unhappy trying to achieve them. Do the things that make you happy. I hope one day I can too, in the meantime though I’m working to make the changes. Even the Tinkerbell sized ones.

And to any other young woman out there who is battling her own demons when it comes to food, weight, and self-acceptance – you are not alone. I see you, I hear you, and I’m here for you. It’s a daily fight, but you’ve got this. Eat the bread, wear the crop top, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Together, we can break the cycle of body shame and learn to love ourselves, one small step at a time.

2024/04/11 1 comment

Stella Boonshoft. self-image, body awareness

Health

Stella Boonshoft: Body Issues Be Damned, It’s My Body, Deal with it!

by Deborah Cruz 2012/10/21

written by Deborah Cruz

Stella Boonshoft; You Rock my Socks Off

Stella Boonshoft a New York University student took this photograph of herself in a bikini and posted it on her Tumblr account, The Body Love Blog.

Photographer Brandon Stanton then published the same image on his Facebook fan site, Humans of New York on Thursday, where it has since garnered 455,000 likes and been shared 20,000 times.

The image of Stella Boonshoft in her bikini has sparked a debate about body image and traditional notions of beauty, with some people congratulating Boonshoft and calling her an inspiration, and others criticizing the image for promoting obesity.

I don’t know about you but, as a woman who pretty much looks exactly like this in my own bikini right now and has battled with crappy eating disorders and been plagued with body dysmorphic disorder, this photo gives me hope. I am inspired by her tenacity and proud to know that there are women out there who are trying to change the status quo. I’m not saying that I want to live in a world where it’s accepted that people are unhealthy. I want better for people. I want them to be able to be healthy and fit but more than that, I want to raise my girls in a world where it’s okay to love yourself even if you are not a size 0. We need more role models.

I can’t be a role model. I am not that comfortable in my own skin. I try to be. I try to accept who I am but I have a long ways to go. I KNOW that I am blessed to be healthy and my worth is not in the size of my pants but this girl inspires me, which is exactly what she set out to do for women everywhere.

Stella Boonshoft Super hero to Young Women

“I know what I am trying to do, which is help young women struggling with their body image and expose the hypocrisy and cruelty that is size-ism,” she says on her site. “[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][I know that] is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT [than] whatever feelings I may have about myself.”
‘THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT’ : Stella Boonshoft in her own words
‘WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your … business. Meaning my size, is none of your … business.

I wish there were more women like you in the world. You go Stella Boonshoft.

What do you think of Stella Boonshoft’s dare to be honest bikini photo?

Photo

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2012/10/21 10 comments

Confessions

My Daughter Thinks I’m Ugly

by Deborah Cruz 2012/08/28

written by Deborah Cruz

Talk about your body image being crushed. My daughter thinks I’m ugly. She told me that I’m prettier on the “inside” than I am on the outside. She even qualified it by saying, “Mommy, I’ve lived on the inside, so I should know.” She told me this last week.

I won’t lie; I wasn’t looking particularly pretty on that day. If I remember correctly, I was wearing yoga pants, a tank top and my hair was pulled back in a disheveled ponytail. You know, the same thing I wore yesterday and the day before and probably today. Isn’t that the standard new Mommy uniform? It is in my house. Or maybe I’m just too tired to care lately. It’s been a hectic summer with lots of changes and little sleep.

2012/08/28 87 comments

body image,loving yourself, self-esteem, self-image, eating disorder, body dysmorphic disorder

Confessions

Dear Me: Love Letter to My 13-year-old Self

by Deborah Cruz 2010/10/26

written by Deborah Cruz

Dear Debi (the 13-year-old with a skewed body image),

Hold your head high.You are beautiful even with a mouth full of silver.Don’t hide your smile in Freshman gym class. Smile big and hard with those big shiny braces, because one day that smile will light up the world for two of the most incredible little people that you will ever know.

Laugh your goofy Ricky Riccardo laugh because one day the man of your dreams will find it as endearing as you find it disgusting.

Write in your journal, put pen to paper and remember these moments because they are what will make you who you will become. Be fearless!

Try everything, go for your dreams, exhaust your potential.

Walk tall my love, 5’7″ may feel enormous at your age when you are towering over all the boys but in a couple of years, they will all be taller than you.

Little Girl with poor body image

Your value in life is not measured by the size of your jeans and comparing yourself to others is a pointless waste of time. Besides, you are never as big as you think you are and eating disorders and body issues are so not the way to go. With it, comes years of shame and guilt and it will take years to undo the damage that you will do to your body.In the end, it only makes things worse.

Be the best you that you can be, that’s enough. That’s better than enough, its exhausting potential and being comfortable in your own skin. It’s amazing.It is more important than I can even make you understand. It is the kind of knowledge that I’ve had to learn the hard way.

No matter what box you have been put into by people and society, you are free. Your horizons are boundless. Your potential is limitless.

Breathe little girl, there is plenty of time for growing up, embrace yourself. You are the perfect you and what seems momentous today and earth-shattering will pass and make you stronger.

Love yourself with the reckless abandon that you would give anyone else who has a special place in your heart.You deserve it!

Sing at the top of your lungs, dance like nobody is watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, and laugh like Ricky Ricardo!

Love,
Your Older, Wiser Self

Imagine a world

…where every girl grows up with the self-esteem she needs to reach her full potential.
…where every woman enjoys feeling confident in her own beauty.
…where we all help to build self-esteem in the people we love most.

Dove,Thanks for this wonderful campaign.It makes my heart soar to know that the world will be a better place for my girls because of it.

My body image is bigger than just my reflection in the mirror

2010/10/26 32 comments

Health

Maggie Goes On A Diet

by Deborah Cruz 2011/08/29

written by Deborah Cruz

Maggie Goes on A Diet ~ Is a new book with a targeted reading level of ages 4-8 years old and coming out in October of this year by author Paul M.Kramer. It is complete with cartoon like pictures and will be readily accessible and easy to read by your preschool-elementary aged child.

Synopsis: This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image.

Maggie Goes on A Diet; Don’t do it!

I have not read the book, or seen any excerpts, nor will I. This book will not be allowed in my house. I am the mother of two little girls and a survivor of eating disorder and forever a fighter of body dysmorphic disorder. Never heard of it? Let me help you become educated by defining something that has defined me for most of my life.

According to the Mayo Clinic: Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can’t stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don’t want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called “imagined ugliness.”

When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to “fix” your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied.

A leading Cause: Environment. Your environment, life experiences and culture may contribute to body dysmorphic disorder, especially if they involve negative experiences about your body or self-image.

This has consumed me since about the age of puberty and will probably be a battle that I fight every day for the rest of my life. I have been told that I basically can not trust anything I see in the mirror. Do you know how that feels? Can you imagine not being able to trust your own judgement? It may seem inconsequential or vain but when you don’t see the real you in the mirror, that becomes a problem. This goes way beyond being unhappy with gain of 10-15 pounds. This is never being satisfied with my appearance.When you never feel physically good enough, or sub par, it takes a toll on your life in almost every facet. It’s a little easier for me now because I know that the disorder exists within me. With therapy and education, I have been able to begin to not allow the disorder to define me . I know that I will probably never be satisfied with what I see in the mirror and that is not a reflection of some ineptitude on my part but a symptom of the disease, in that I can take some small comfort.

Maggie Goes On a Diet

This book cover alone disturbs me deeply. This may seem innocuous but the message it sends to a child will be profound. This is how my reflection has always been but the opposite. No matter how small I was, I only saw someone large and ugly in the mirror. Not that the two go hand in hand, they certainly do not but for me (in my disease) I always needed to be just a little bit better. A little bit taller. A little bit smaller. My hair a little bit longer. A little bit curlier. A little bit straighter. My lips a little bit fuller. My eyes a little bigger. My nose, oh the bump on my nose, was monumental..practically a mountain. Boobs perkier. Legs longer. Fingers longer.Do you get the picture? No matter what I may have looked like, it was NEVER enough. For me, this book fosters this behavior. It sets a standard that perfection in appearance equals perfection in all areas of your life. This is simply not true. It never has been . It is an impossible standard. The next step in the progression would be eating disorders. Obviously, if you think that having the perfect body equals having the perfect life you are going to do all tat is necessary to reach that goal.

I do not believe that children should ever be put on a diet per se. I understand restricted diets for medical reasons; diabetes, allergies, etc. but just because a child gains a small amount of weight, I don’t think they should be put on a “diet”. It is our responsibility, as parents, to insure that our children get good quality healthy food and live a active lifestyle. We are the examples. We are the caregivers. I have had my own issues with food that I have had to deal with.They were dealt with long before I had children but it has made me aware that it is my responsibility to make healthy choices in mind, body and soul for the sake of my children. When anyone, a child or adult hears the word diet it instantly has a negative connotation associated with it. I feel that using the word diet with a child is imprinting a flaw in their mind. If I had it my way, my girls will never worry about the scale. I feed them a balanced diet and keep them active with play and dance. I don’t want them to know or care what they weigh. I just want them to be satisfied with who they are and to know that they are beautiful and perfect, as is. This book undermines that lesson and teaches children that to be beautiful, popular and a star of the team , you must be aesthetically pleasing to others and beautiful. This book cover alone screams the message that to be happy with your life, you must be perfect in the mirror. Shouldn’t the message be that to be happy in your life, you must be beautiful on the inside and satisfied with your place in the world not the size of your dress?

Just Say No to Maggie Goes on A Diet

2011/08/29 24 comments

weight, fat, body image, raising girls, ballerinas

Girl Mom Throat Punch Thursday

All Little Girls Think They’re Fat

by Deborah Cruz 2015/03/19

written by Deborah Cruz

“I’m fat! Just look at my flabby arms!”

This is what I overheard amongst the ballerinas today. 11-year-olds should not be worrying about flabby arms, especially since not one of the 10 preteen girls included in this conversation are fat or had flabby arms. My heart sunk and my stomach turned as I realized if these lean, dancers think they’re fat, what if all little girls think they’re fat? I didn’t say a word because I was speechless.

Every Wednesday, I take my daughters to ballet. They were in class when I heard the girls talking. This has been my routine for nearly 8 years. At least 4 classes a week, I am surrounded by a plethora of beautiful, young, graceful, strong and lean girls (ages 3 and up). It’s always been a place of positivity and the focus is on the dance moves, not the size of the dancer’s ass. Why would it be?

My girls have danced with the city ballet practically since the moment they could tell me that was what they wanted to do but I went in with my eyes open. I’ve heard the horror stories of ballerinas who are malnourished and have eating disorders. I know these are brought on by the constant focus on body and weight that is necessary for any athlete.

Having battled severe eating disorders myself, I promised myself a few things 1) I would never negative talk in front of my girls 2) I would do everything in my power to instill high self-confidence and positive body image and 3) if they were ever involved in a situation where someone made weight the focus, I’d pull my daughters out because it’s not worth it. I won’t allow anyone to undo the self-esteem that I’ve spent years building.

Perfection is not achievable, mostly because it’s a moving target, and no girl should feel that her self-worth has anything to do with her weight. Only in ballet, like many sports, it is hard to be in top performance form if your body is not at its absolute best so even if there isn’t a blatant focus and criticism of body size and shape, it’s there, lurking like the boogie man just waiting to destroy your daughter’s self-confidence. I know it and, apparently, so do these girls. How could they not living in a world where thigh gaps and bikini bridges are aspirations.

I wanted to grab those girls and hug them and shout to them, “No! Your arms are not flabby. You are perfect. Your body is strong and beautiful and amazing. It is what moves you on the stage. It is what moves you in the world. Your body is what makes you….YOU!” I wanted to, like I wished someone would’ve done to me the first time I looked in the mirror and saw my 12-year-old body and saw imperfection in perfection. But I couldn’t because I wasn’t supposed to be there. I wasn’t supposed to hear that. They aren’t my daughters.

At that moment, I was too busy praying that my daughter, just inside the classroom, didn’t hear this slightly older ballerina who she looks up to calling herself “flabby” and “fat.” Because if you’ve ever been involved in the dance world, you know, there is nothing a tiny ballerina looks up to more than a bigger one, even if it’s only by a level. I held my breath and waited to see if she mentioned anything. She didn’t.

You see, little girls are like sponges; they absorb everything that they see and hear and once they know it, they can’t unknow it. They keep it and pick at it like a scab. I know this is true because my own daughters have even began to pick up on subtle cues, ones that I don’t even know I’m doing. They know how to decipher a hint and they can figure things out. They are not oblivious. I went home last night and began to think of all the ways I hint at my dissatisfaction with my own body; long sighs in the mirror, tugging at my shirt, tiny fits of rage when trying on clothes in the dressing room. I can’t do that anymore. They’re too smart. If they’re unhealthy or think they are fat, I feel like it’s my personal parenting fail.

I feel terrible that I didn’t grab those little girls and tell them how perfect and strong and amazing they are. I had to do something so I emailed the Director of the Ballet (a mom of two small girls, a ballerina and a friend) and I told her what had happened because I feel like going silent makes me a part of the problem. I want to be part of the solution.

What would you have done if you heard a group of young girls calling themselves fat?

2015/03/19 6 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday~ Miley Cyrus: Don’t Call Me Fat! Edition

by Deborah Cruz 2011/11/17

written by Deborah Cruz

Miley Cyrus is NOT Fat

Miley Cyrus: Don’t Call Me Fat! ~ Seriously, what in the world is wrong with people? Miley Cyrus is not fat. She looks like a healthy young woman. Healthy and woman being the operative words. Hollywood is so used to seeing the Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato girls of the world running around like starved waifs that when they see them with a curvy figure they cry FAT! The Miley Cyrus: Don’t call me Fat! article that is seemingly everywhere is has onlookers split down the middle. There are actually people in the world who think because she is not shaped like a 12 year old boy anymore, she must be fat. This is hurtful gossip at its worst for entertainment value. Shame on you trolls for taking cheap shots and mocking the Marilyn Monroes of the world. If we collectively think that healthy is fat, maybe we are the ones who should seek some help.

Miley Cyrus is Beautiful & Healthy Looking

Why do we have to make a strong young woman feel less than enough when she has had the good fortune and upbringing to know that her self-worth does not come from the size of her jeans. Are we jealous? I love that Miley Cyrus, spunky and sassy as ever, shot back almost immediately by declaring a public Twitter war on those who insulted her. Miley Cyrus tweeted to her three million plus followers, “By calling girls like me fat this is what you’re doing to other people.” Her tweet was accompanied by a picture of an emaciated woman.

This is the Photo that Miley Cyrus Tweeted

Of course if the above photo is what one identifies with as chic and thin then they may want to seek some mental health themselves. I used to think the image above was a good size and that the Marilyn Monroes of the world were fat. Then again, I have a diagnosis of Body dysmorphic disorder and anorexia/bulima on my books. Even I know that this above photo is too thin. Miley was right to be hurt and insulted. Miley went on to criticize her critics, writing, “I love MYSELF & if you could say the same you wouldn’t be sitting on your computer trying to hurt others.”

To drive the point home, Miley Cyrus posted a picture of Marilyn Monroe with the caption, “Proof that you can be adored by thousands of men, even when your thighs touch.” Damn, I wish I had this girls self-confidence!

Soon, Miley’s friend and fellow pop star Demi Lovato joined in on Twitter tweeting back, “I love you, whoever called you that has it coming.” Lovato recently got out of rehab, which she entered in part due to body image issues. Demi Lovato had to defend her post-rehab weight gain back in August, as well.

Miley responded : @ddlovato AMEN! I will destroy any one that ever calls you the F word. You have the SEXIIIESTTTT curvyyyy body! I LOVE IT! #werkthosecurves

Cyrus wasn’t backing down. She tweeted again, “I LOVE being shaped like a WOMAN & trust me ladies your man won’t mind either.” Indeed, young master. I really wish I had her confidence and felt that comfortable with my body. This is a great message to send to women everywhere. Men don’t want girls who are shaped like little boys, unless they are Jerry Sandusky…then maybe.

Amen! I commend these young girls for having the fortitude to stand up to Hollywood’s image of what beauty is and for speaking up in defense for healthy young women everywhere. You are not fat. You are beautiful, healthy and hopefully happy. If we could just get the rest of the world to understand what you already know, our self worth is not determined by the size of our jeans. Throat punch to all the asshats who think it’s okay to make a running commentary on someone else’s body. Whether you are being a lecherous pervert or a jerky hater, keep your comments on other peoples sizes and shapes to yourself. They have mirrors in their house and they are perfectly aware of any and all flaws that you might feel is your duty to point out. Know this, they know they are there. No one needs your jokes or opinions. Miley Cyrus you impress me with your big, giant self-confidence!

2011/11/17 10 comments

Tech

EatSmart Precision GoFit Body Fat Bathroom scale

by Deborah Cruz 2011/09/17

written by Deborah Cruz

Behold EatSmart~ Precision GoFit Digital Scale

What is it? Eat Smart ~Precision GoFit Body Fat Bathroom Scale The EatSmart Precision GoFit Digital Body Fat Bathroom Scale is not your ordinary bathroom scale, as it can quickly and easily measure weight, body fat, body water, body muscle and bone mass using new ITO BIA (Bio-Electrical Impedance Analysis) technology. BIA sends a safe, low-level electrical current through the body (you hardly feel it…J/k you don’t feel it at all), which allows the Precision GoFit to analyze the body in real time all in one step. ONE STEP! There’s no need for weighing and measuring separate times. I love it because as a very busy mom, like most of you, I don’t have a lot of time to focus on me and this incorporates everything I need to do to keep my weight on track into one step, allowing me to spend time on me without feeling like I’m taking away valuable time somewhere else. The sleek design, touch screen interface and automatic person identifier (stores personal data for up to 8 users) make the EatSmart Precision GoFit Digital body fat bathroom scale one of the most user friendly bathroom scales I’ve ever had the pleasure of owning and it actually looks good in my bathroom. Bonus!

What does it say it will do?

EatSmart Precision GoFit scale product Features

Measuring Functions: % Body Fat, % Total Body Water, % Muscle Mass and Bone Mass
400 pound capacity
Proprietary Automatic User Identification Technology; Stores personal data for up to 8 users
EatSmart “Step-On” Technology – Get instant readings with no tapping to turn on!
Large 3.5″ Blue LCD displays with white backlight – Easy to read.
Auto Calibrated; Auto Power-Off; Runs on 4 AAA batteries (included); 100% Eat Smart Satisfaction Guarantee

Does it do what it says it will do? The EatSmart Precision GoFit Digital Body Fat Bathroom scale does everything it promises and I love it. I love it because I have started a new journey and this scale is playing a big part in helping me to reach my destination. I have been spending a lot of time working out and logging food, counting points and making wise choices. It’s nice to have this tool that is so user friendly and when it lights up, it’s little blue light is affirmation that what I am doing is working. In fact, this morning when I weighed in for the week, I was pleasantly surprised to know that my Total body water (TBW), Body Fat, Muscle mass and Bone mass are in within normal ranges now. This was not the case a month ago. I know that my hard work and discipline is what is prompting the change in my body and my health; there is no magic pill. But the Eat Smart precision GoFit body fat Bathroom scale is my accountability. I need the accountability, as much as I need the portion control, workouts and healthy food choices. It all works in unison to reach my weight loss destination. The Eat Smart Precision GoFit Body Fat Bathroom Scale is the perfect weight loss tool for the busy mom on the go.

Do you need to consult a manual or is it “User Friendly”? The Eat Smart Precision GOFit Body Fat Bathroom Scale is so easy to use. Pop the batteries in (which are provided) flip it over, step on it once to calibrate, step off and then step back on. Voila. You are done Instantly, you will have your weight, body fat, body water, body muscle and bone mass! EatSmart is the future of scales and the future is now. EatSmart!

EatSmart , Live Long & Prosper

2011/09/17 1 comment

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