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Netflix Binge Watching Recs for Your Winter Break Sanity

by Deborah Cruz 2016/12/30

Thank God for Netflix. If you are like me, you are just about winter break-ed out(or is that broken? Because I’m feeling pretty broken right about now) of your kids. We needed the break, no doubt but we’ve done the family time thing and the sleeping in and the movies with a tween girl sleepover thrown in just to round things out.

We’ve moved on to bickering, under each other’s feet, no idea what day this is part of winter break and I think it’s the perfect time for us all to fall into separate show holes. If we’re being honest, I’ve been falling into one every night after the girls go to bed until about 3 a.m. every morning (next week’s going to hurt when I have to get up at 6 a.m. again). Thankfully, I am a Netflix stream team member so I can blame all my binging on research, right? Lucky for you, I’ve done the research so you can fall easily and cozily into your very own Netflix show hole for the remainder of your winter break.

Thankfully, I’m a Netflix stream team member so I can blame all my binging on research, right? Lucky for you, I’ve done the research so you can fall easily and cozily into your very own show hole for the remainder of your winter break or do a little Netflix and Chilling with your favorite guy or girl.

Here are some binge-worthy shows that I’ve discovered lately, perfect for your show hole viewing pleasure.

The Crown: A young woman rises to rule an empire amid the challenges of the modern age. Peter Morgan’s masterfully researched scripts reveal the Queen’s private journey behind the public facade with daring frankness. If you like period dramas, you will love this series.

Wentworth: Wentworth is set in modern-day Australia and focuses on Bea Smith (Danielle Cormack) when she first enters prison after being charged with the attempted murder of her husband.^[2] Bea is separated from her daughter and sent to Wentworth on remand, where she lives in “an uncertain limbo” until she is sentenced. Starting at the bottom of Wentworth’s hierarchy, Bea is forced to learn how to survive in prison. Think Orange is the New Black with more drama.

Velvet: The young heir to a fashion empire falls in love with a humble seamstress. It sounds simple but it is amazing and is full of twists and turns and beautiful fashion and people.

No Second Chance: After surviving a brutal attack, Dr. Alice Lambert wakes up to learn that her baby daughter is missing and faces pointed questions from the police. This series takes you on a roller coaster ride of emotions and you won’t believe the end of series 1.

CrazyHead: Prone to hallucinations, kindred spirits Amy and Raquel embrace the roles as “seers”, individuals who can detect the hellish true forms of others.

The OA: A woman missing for 7 years turns up at a hospital with strange scars on her back but can’t- or won’t- reveal where she’s been. This series will give you all the feels and question everything you know. It is an amazing story with a one-of-a-kind plot.

Sense 8: Eight strangers around the globe find themselves connected — first by a violent vision, then by their shared ability to connect with one another’s thoughts and actions, and finally by the urgent need to find out what happened and why.

Case: Case begins with a teenage ballerina being found dead hanging from a noose above the stage in a theater. A gruff police investigator and disgraced lawyer end up setting about solving the case with many familiar avenues uncovered: the girl comes from an abusive birth-parents situation; her adoptive parents have secrets; her sister is involved with some sketchy characters; there are voyeurs at play, blackmailers, and statutory rapists.

Captive: This documentary series reconstructs history’s most complex, high-stakes hostage negotiations as kidnapping victims recount their terrifying ordeals.

Medici: After his father’s murder, banking heir Cosimo Medici battles opponents of his artistic, economic and political visions for 15^th-Century Florence.

Chewing Gum: A pent up Tracey channels Beyonce to try and seduce Ronald, her virginal boyfriend. But mild-mannered Connor seems to like her just the way she is. This show is absolutely hilarious.

If you need binge ideas for the kids, so you can get a few minutes to get a shower and find some clothes that fit, here are a few I found that my kids think are pretty awesome.

Chasing Cameron

Troll Hunters

Fuller House

Minions

ZOOtopia

Lost and Found

And Don’t forget about the Netflix New Year’s Countdown so you can countdown any time during the night with your little ones. There are 10 choices: Chasing Cameron, Fuller House, Word Party, Luna Petunia, Beat Bus, Puffin Rock, All Hail King Julien, Skylanders Academy, Project MC2 and Troll Hunters so something for everyone! The best part is, especially with the little, little ones is that you can do it at any time; all the excitement and none of the meltdowns! Happy New Year!

What’s your favorite show to binge watch on Netflix this winter break?

2016/12/30 0 comments

Entertainment

Netflix Hit the Mark with Grace and Frankie

by Deborah Cruz 2015/05/30

written by Deborah Cruz

I am a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam but all opinions and binge watching of Grace and Frankie were all my own.

As many of you might have read, this month has been quite a bit of crazy. It was non-stop go-go-go until life intervened and brought it all to a screeching halt when life hit me right in the eye with a nasty infection and no, that’s not a sexy euphemism for anything. At first, I was freaking out because I had so much to do and found myself completely out of commission. Add to that the antibiotics that had the side effect of not only destroying my digestive system but had the added effect of spontaneous narcolepsy. I guess it wasn’t too bad, especially since the vision in my left eye was blurry and I couldn’t work anyways because…you need sight to work on the Internet to see all the sees. I found myself partially blind and almost completely unplugged. It was like it was 1987.

Anyways, I spent my week and a half laying on my couch contemplating my imminent demise, adapting to the new unimproved elephant man face that I was sure to be sporting for eternity and feeling sorry for myself so I did what anyone in my position would do, I binge watched Netflix with my one good eye, in between trips to the bathroom, crying and naps. I finished season one of Bloodline so I had to find something else to distract me.

I kept thinking about my poor kids being known at school as the kids of the lady with the weird face. I felt like Gilbert Grape’s Mom. Then I started trying to rationalize the situation. Hey, there are kids with two mommies, two daddies, or a mommy, daddy and a step mommy and/or daddy. Some kids live with their grandparents and some live with aunts and uncles. My kids would just be the kids from the family with the super tall dad and the mom with the weird face who does that crazy thing “blogging” for a living. I needed to get out of my head so I searched for something to make me feel better. I needed something to put my “weird face” mom status in perspective. I need something to make me laugh, cry and get out of my own head.

I found Grace and Frankie.

Netflix’s new funny and fearless original comedy featuring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, is a perfect example of how today’s families can shift, rearrange and blend in unexpected ways. When Grace and Frankie’s husbands, who are in their 70’s, leave them after 40+ years of marriage—to be with each other—the women find themselves facing a change that they never expected, especially at this point in their lives. But they shift their perspective to get through it together with the support of their new blended family and, of course, a wicked sense of humor.

Grace and Frankie is a testament to women supporting women, sisterhood overcoming all the unexpected hardships, shifts and changes that life throws our way. Friends are what sustain us throughout life. It starts on the playground and goes on throughout our lifetimes. Shared experiences and memories only strengthen that bond.

It is also a beautiful reminder that families come in all shapes, sizes, sexual preferences, colors and beliefs. Family are the people who stand beside you, love you and support you and that is all that matters. It’s more than blood and genetics, it’s love and friendship.

Grace and Frankie had me laughing so hard and then crying the next. Life is beautiful and wonderful and unexpected. Life is messy and complicated and not usually what we planned for. In the end, we need to be happy and loved, the heart wants what the heart wants and the heart doesn’t adhere to social norms or expectations. Grace and Frankie is by far one of my favorite new shows on Netflix.

I also found another brand new show that I’m hooked on, Between, which is Sci-Fi series starring Jennette McCurdy. A mysterious disease strikes a small town’s adult population in this tense-sci-fi drama. Pretty Lake’s teenagers think they have their futures in sight with college, the military and even motherhood. But suddenly the town’s grownups start dropping like flies from some unknown plague and the government quarantines the town. Survivors quickly realize that they are trapped, no one is allowed in or out and they are going to have to figure out how to survive on their own, with no adult supervision or guidance. I’ve only seen one episode because unlike most Netflix series, this series is weekly but from what I’ve seen totally worth it. And don’t forget, Orange is the New Black is back on June 12, 2015. I will definitely be watching, will you?

What was your favorite show on Netflix this month?

What did you think of Grace and Frankie?

2015/05/30 1 comment

ricky Gervais, Netflix, Derek, Autism, BBC

Entertainment

Netflix’s Derek Shines Light on Autism & Teaches Important Lessons About Tolerance and Kindness

by Deborah Cruz 2014/09/08

written by Deborah Cruz

My family is addicted to Netflix and my newest addiction is Derek.

It’s a Godsend to me since I haven’t gotten to watch a television show at it’s regularly scheduled time since giving birth and have only been to a movie theater about 7 times in the past 9 years. I know, it’s sad but not really because thanks to Netflix, I can binge-watch entire seasons of shows in a matter of a weekend. It’s like high-intensity television viewing. Not for the weak, or the busy so obviously, I don’t get to take advantage of that very often. By the way, I am a Netflix Stream team member but I was a Netflix junkie way before being part of the Stream Team.

Occasionally, I’ll take a day or two and just watch a season while I do laundry. Come on, we’ve all done it. I’ve seen your feet up, Netflix on the tv Instagram photos. I find television to be a way for me to decompress, especially when I am overwhelmed with life circumstances. In fact, BBC’s Shameless got me through one of the toughest times in my life. There was just something about being at my lowest and being able to watch people at an even lower point, with less to be thankful for, being thankful. Sometimes it’s just changing your perspective or being able to laugh at someone else’s misfortune or be inspired by their tenacity, it works.

While I watch shows like Shameless, Weeds, House of Cards, Hemlock Grove and Orange is the New Black, I certainly don’t want my 7 and 9-year-olds watching any of those. I also don’t want them accidentally stumbling upon one of the horror movies that I have in my queue. Thank goodness for the kids’ section and even more so for individual profiles. Now, no one has to accidentally open Daddy’s National Lampoon’s Spring Break movie or Mommy’s Walking Dead or American Horror Story. Hey, I’m grown I can watch whatever I want but that doesn’t mean that I want my kids exposed to it; individual profiles are the perfect parental control solution. It’s awesome because it provides ratings and reviews so I can see if its okay for my girls to watch before tuning in and getting surprised.

But there is one show that I really want to share with my girls because the messages and themes are so perfect that I want to share this show with everyone I know BUT I can’t because there are also some very adult themes and language in the BBC show Derek. But I can share it with you. Have you seen it?

Ricky Gervais stars as Derek Noakes in the British television bittersweet comedy-drama Derek about a group of quirky outsiders living on society’s peripheral written by, directed by and starring Ricky Gervais. It is implied in one episode that Ricky Gervais’ character, Derek, may be autistic. Derek Noakes is a tender, innocent man whose love for his job and the elderly people that he cares for shines through. He’s 49 years old and loves animals and Youtube videos of animals. He is a tender, honest and brave soul in a world where most people are not.Derek is kind, helpful, selfless and lives with good intentions and good will towards everyone he meets. He is vulnerable because of his childlike naivety and distractions from society. Outside of the home he works in, he is ridiculed and ostracized, and marginalized by mainstream society because of his social awkwardness and lack of inhibitions. Derek says it is more important to be kind than to be clever or good-looking. Derek believes that old people are special because they’re kind and funny and tell him stories about the olden days.

Hannah (Kerry Godliman) is a care worker at the home and is Derek’s best friend. She’s smart, witty and hard-working, but unlucky in love; and like Derek, always puts other people first.

All the characters, while rough around the edges, will soon endear themselves to your heart and none so much as Derek. If you thought that Ricky Gervais was a one trick comedy pony you would be so wrong. His range will shock you and his acting and insight with which he plays Derek will forever remind you that we are not all what we appear to be; most often we are so much more.

I won’t lie, I fell in love with Derek Noakes and all felt a kinship to all the characters. The show is shot in a mockumentary sort of way, like The Office but mostly it just feels like you’re a fly on the wall at this little elderly care home and it reminds us that, if we just take the time to pay attention or care in the slightest, we could see how much good there is in the people around us. So if you ever find yourself wondering what you should be watching next on Netflix ( like I see many of you asking on FB) please consider Derek. The first 2 episodes are a bit slow but after that, hold tight because your heart will be touched.

If you’ve watched Derek, what do you think of the show?

2014/09/08 1 comment

Rita, Netflix, back-to-school, Danish, TV, Mille Dinesen

Entertainment

Rita, my Newest Netflix Obsession

by Deborah Cruz 2015/09/23

written by Deborah Cruz

A few weeks ago a fellow ballet mom and I were discussing our Netflix guilty pleasures. Sitting there outside the ballet studio that Tuesday, I never would have guessed how important that conversation would become to me and how relevant that recommendation in my life. When you are have nowhere to go, the only escape from the minutia is through your mind and boy, have I ever needed an escape.

Since recently becoming bedridden due to my fall heard round the Internet, I have become very well acquainted with my Netflix account. It seems that as I spent last year shuttling my daughters around town for various extracurricular activities, I missed a lot of great shows last year and with new shows starting this week, it’s time to catch up.

So far, I have caught up on Once Upon a Time, Gray’s Anatomy and the Walking Dead and I am ready for the new seasons to start. I also binge watched Game of Thrones (available on DVD). Just an FYI, if you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you are missing out. It is amazing. It’s super intense and filled with all kinds of sex and violence ( so definitely not anything to watch with the kids around) but I love it.

I also found a new Netflix addiction, Rita. The show is based out of Copenhagen and is about a no-nonsense teacher with a wild side. Following the life of a very outspoken and rebellious single mother, Rita Madsen is a schoolteacher who is competent in the classroom, but seems to need a teacher of her own, when it comes to her personal life.

I loved this show because it felt like the characters were really relatable and the sort of people you might see at your own place of work. The bottom line is that the show is about a teacher who is a hot mess in her own personal life but she will stop at nothing to help her students. She is there biggest advocate.

Even though she may not have her own stuff together, she always tried to do what was best for the kids; her biological children and the many students that she loved and wanted to give a chance in the world. Most of the show was her sticking her neck out to rescue a student. I’d like to think that there are teachers that care as much as Rita at my children’s school, especially at a time in my parenting tenure when I feel that I really have to depend on my children’s teachers to be their advocate.

I just finished season 3 of Rita so I guess I’d better find another series. What’s your favorite Netflix series to binge watch?

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix Stream team but all opinions are my own.

2015/09/23 1 comment

Stream Team, National Siblings Day, Netflix

Entertainment

National Siblings Day and What to Watch on Netflix

by Deborah Cruz 2016/04/17

written by Deborah Cruz

April 10^th was National Siblings day. I grew up with 6 brothers and sisters so siblings are a big part of my life and I have always stressed to my girls how important their sister is. I loved being part of a big family but it definitely made things like going out to eat or watching television difficult, especially considering at one point my parents had 5 teenagers and 1 television in the house. There were a lot of us in a small space so we learned how to compromise and share. I like to think those “hard times” made us better people.

This was back in the 80’s so there was no running to your tablet; laptop or desktop computer to watch something else if you didn’t like what was being featured on the main screen. I mean, there was only 1 screen! Gasp. This was a time before Netflix, Hulu or Amazon prime existed and we didn’t even have cable. I’m not even sure how we survived.

As children, we learned hard lessons about democracy and majority rule. That’s probably why I became a political scientist; I know that every vote counts. I know that staying silent is giving up your right to be heard on important matters; like which movie to watch Purple Rain or Weekend at Bernies.

It was so stressful that I got a job the minute I was old enough, just so I could buy a TV of my own! Then I hoarded it in my room and watched whatever I wanted to. I went rogue, I even saved up and bought a VCR. I used to let my brothers and sisters watch tv in my room in exchange for them doing my chores. Being the owner of a television in a house where there was only one other one was power.

Anyways, honestly, if my dad was home we had to watch Univision and if my mom had control of the television it was usually tuned in to General Hospital or Dynasty. It was torturous being a teen in the 80s, what with having to have a personality and hang out with actual friends. If you got really lucky, you’d get a friend who had cable and was a latch key kid.

These days we have televisions and devices in every room of the house. Honestly, devices outnumber people 3 to 1 in our home. Anyone can watch whatever they want, whenever they want.

Thanks to my wonky gallbladder and surgery, I got to spend a lot of time watching Netflix. Thankfully, I am a Netflix Stream Team member so I felt productive even while I was binge watching some awesome shows. I found a lot of new and exciting shows to watch and I thought how fun it would be to binge watch these shows with my sisters and brothers, now as adults. Even though we could technically be spread out all over the house, there is nothing like sharing the experience of a great show; laughing, crying and thinking.

This month there are lots of awesome shows that the entire family can agree on, no matter the age or taste in shows. A few of my favorites for adult siblings are The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Lost and Found, The RANCH ( a new favorite), American Odyssey, Flaked, Love, The Returned and River. There is something for everyone.

My husband, our daughters and I like to watch television as a family. I guess it’s leftover from my deprived childhood of living in a house with only one television. The same way we always eat dinner together every night. It’s not just a habit; it is a choice we made as a family because it’s important to us to spend that time sharing experiences, our day and air. Children grow up quickly and all of these seemingly inconsequential moments count. But sometimes finding something age appropriate that holds the attention of all of us, is a real challenge but this month we found a few we really loved like Lost and Found, Dance Academy, Girl Meets World and also, Grease and the Princess Bride!

What is your favorite show to binge watch on Netflix?

2016/04/17 1 comment

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy

Entertainment Parenting

13 Reasons Why is the Netflix Series that Could Save Your Teen’s Life

by Deborah Cruz 2017/04/10

written by Deborah Cruz

I just finished binge-watching the new Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why and it was truly thought-provoking and intensely engaging. Without giving too much away because I hate to ruin a great Netflix binge for anyone, it is the perfect watch for teens and early twenty-somethings and anyone who loves them.

13 Reasons Why, in short, is about the things we do (and don’t do) and how it ripples and effects everyone around us. Contrary to how alone or self-centered life may feel, our choices and our actions (or lack thereof) can mean the difference between life or death.

You see, I do not say this as a judgment. I own the fact and freely admit that in my teens and early twenties, I was one of the most narcissistic, egocentric and selfish people I knew. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time. At the time, I thought I was great. Only in retrospect do I realize how truly self-absorbed I was. I was kind of an a-hole and honestly, I wouldn’t have been my friend.

But that’s the nature of the beast at that age. We all are this way. We don’t realize it. I was a good kid but my entire perspective shifted only around me. In a lot of ways, I was still a child only I was dealing with adult issues. That’s a hard time in life. I try to keep that in mind with my own children.

13 Reasons Why is centered around Hannah Baker, a typical teen girl, who commits suicide.

Based on the best-selling books by Jay Asher, 13 Reasons Why follows teenager Clay Jensen as he returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker—his classmate and crush—who tragically committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Will Clay be one of them? If he listens, he’ll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay’s dual narratives, 13 Reasons Why weaves an intricate and heart-wrenching story of teenage life that will deeply affect viewers.

13 Reasons Why stars Dylan Minnette as Clay Jensen (Goosebumps),Katherine Langford as Hannah Baker, Kate Walsh as Mrs. Baker (Private Practice), Brian D’Arcy James as Mr. Baker (Smash) , Derek Luke as Mr. Porter (Empire), Brandon Flynn as Justin Foley, Justin Prentice as Bryce Walker,Alisha Boe as Jessica Davis, Christian Navarro as Tony Padilla, Miles Heizer as Alex Standall (Parenthood) and Tommy Dorfman as Ryan Shaver.

Everyone left behind is wondering why Hannah killed herself. Her suicide leads to mass speculation because no obvious note was left. But before her death, Hannah recorded seven audio cassettes explaining the 13 reasons why she killed herself; each side of the tape tells a story of how 13 individuals did something or did nothing at all, contributing to her last moment of utter despair and loneliness.

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy

Per Hannah’s last request, the tapes are to be passed on to people until everyone has figured out why she did what she did. By the time the tapes mysteriously appear on Clay’s doorstep, two weeks have passed since Hannah’s suicide.

Clay listens to what is on those tapes to understand why Hannah ended her life but while listening to the tapes, he learns the truth behind what was really happening. He learns that even when you think what you’re doing is insignificant, it could mean everything to someone else. He learns that sometimes culpability is not just about what you did but about what you didn’t do and should have.

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy

Hannah exposes not only her truth but the secrets of her classmates who are, in her mind, responsible for her death. Each tape addresses a specific person who hurt her emotionally and physically. As a result, the students featured on the tapes become afraid for themselves and try to hide their secrets by any means necessary.

I thought 13 Reasons Why was very well-written and addressed a topic that needs to be addressed.

It is a fantastic series for parents to watch to remind us to stay in touch and keep checking in on our children, even when nothing seems wrong and a must-see for teens and anyone in their twenties because it reminds them that they are not alone and we all have these moments in our life.

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy The thing is that if you are lucky enough to survive, you will see that in the grand scheme of your life, a series of small moments are just that. I know when they are compiling, especially on a young mind, they are heavy and all-consuming. But in 20 years, you will barely remember they ever happened.

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy

I think it’s also a great reminder to all that during moments of personal crisis, we need to be able to have someone to turn to; to talk to so we don’t feel so completely alone. Most importantly, it reminds us that our actions directly affect others, whether we want to believe it or not and when we see something happening that doesn’t sit well with us or that we feel we need to speak up about, we need to do what’s right and not just what’s easy because someone’s life may depend on our one second of courage.

13 reasons why, suicide, parenting teens, netflix bingeworthy

I highly recommend that everyone watch this show and that’s saying a lot as I am a Netflix stream team member and watch a lot of shows.

Have you seen 13 Reasons Why and what are your thoughts?

2017/04/10 0 comments

Netflix, Telenovelas, La Reina Del sur, Stream Team

Entertainment

Latinas Rejoice Netflix has Telenovelas! #Streamteam

by Deborah Cruz 2015/07/08

written by Deborah Cruz

Latinas and lovers of telenovelas of all races it’s time to rejoice because Netflix has got what you need. As a stream team member, I am thrilled to announce that Netflix now streams TELENOVELAS!

Now, I’m pretty sure that whether you’re a Latina or not, you know and have probably watched a telenovela in your life. They are awesome. They are short-term soap operas that are way more intense and dramatic than any soap opera daytime or prime time that you’ve ever seen on American television and bonus, they have subtitles so you don’t have to speak fluent Spanish to watch.

My favorite, la Reina del Sur, is packed full of sex, drama, fights, excitement and sexy men and women. There is never a dull moment and each episode leaves you wanting more and the theme song, I can’t get it out of my head. In fact, I could probably sing it to you right now. All I needs an accordion and I could have you hooked too.

I have recently become enthralled in La Reina del Sur. It is about a smart, street savvy, badass, strong-willed woman who learns how to cope and thrive no matter what life throws her way and believe me, life throws some bad juju her way. Sounds like a lot of women I know.

The main character Teresa Mendoza, played by Kate del Castillo, a Latina from Mexico, affectionately known as La Mexicana, and she starts outs as this kept woman of a strong, macho man who loves her like crazy but has tendencies towards trouble. Soon, things take a turn for the worst and La Mexicana finds herself across the world in Spain and muddling through.

No joke, this show gets better with each episode. I am only half way through and I can’t stop watching. Even on vacation, I’ve been sneaking in episodes after everyone else goes to bed. I think I might have a problem, after all. Remember, I did the same thing last month in Nashville.

Anyways, if you are into telenovelas or you’ve ever wanted to give them a try, Netflix has them (lots of them) with English subtitles! What are you waiting for?

What’s your favorite telenovela or soap opera?

2015/07/08 0 comments

Lilly Collins, Netflix, To the Bone, eating disorders, anorexia, To the Bone Realistically Portrays Life with Eating disorders, life with eating disorders

Girl Mom Women's Issues

Netflix’s To the Bone Realistically Portrays Life with Eating disorders

by Deborah Cruz 2017/08/25

written by Deborah Cruz

Have you ever watched a movie or seen a show and thought to yourself, “Damn, that’s me! That’s my life!” I know it happens all the time because the human condition is a shared one. We don’t live in a vacuum and life is just a series of conditions, right?

The other day, I watched a movie and I saw me, exactly who I once was and it scared me because, by the way it was written, it was someone else too. Someone else had been where I had been and that made me think again about whether or not my girls might some day go down that same path. It was the Netflix Original To the Bone.

I see me, or rather, who I used to be. The anorexic girl. The one with the conflicted home life. The Unpresent dad, the checked out Mom who tried to help in her own way, while at the same time refusing to admit that there’s a problem at all.

Denial. It where we thrived. My job was to keep my dirty secret. Their job was to pretend it wasn’t happening. I fell through the cracks of a childhood held together by rubber bands and chewing gum.

I was alone, so very alone with my disease. People don’t really want to know when these sorts of things are happening, even if they suspect or even glimpse it with their own eyes, it’s too uncomfortable to discuss; to face head on. So we all pretend it’s not happening. Meanwhile, a child is dying.

It won’t go away. It doesn’t just stop. Sometimes, the darkness is so enveloping and the loneliness so crippling that you hope they don’t notice. You’d rather just disappear into the abyss without any fanfare or long, drawn out goodbyes. You want to cease to exist and other people’s concern only serves to prolong your agony.

Lilly Collins, Netflix, To the Bone, eating disorders, anorexia, are eating disorders genetic? , raising girls, tweens, eating disorder, bulimarexia, eating disorders, anorexia, weight,Lilly Collins, Netflix, To the Bone, eating disorders, anorexia, To the Bone Realistically Portrays Life with Eating disorders, life with eating disorders

The worst part for me was realizing that I was so good at it. Worse, I was so good at hiding it and it turned me into someone I despised because the only way to survive is to lie. Soon, you’re lying about everything to keep the one secret that you hold dearest to your heart.

There are never good days. It’s just a series of days you control better than others. You are being held at gun point in a prison of your own making; your head. There is no escape. There is no chance for parole. There is just a life sentence and, if you’re lucky, a life lived in daily recovery. Every day, for the rest of your life, you have to choose life because the alternative is that you die. You will literally die.

Though it may seem soothing and tempting, the thought of no longer having to endure; but the fucking guilt of it all is unbearable so every day, you get up, and you make the choice to live or to die.

For 8 years, I restricted and threw up every single day. Every single thing I ate. I threw up. I never binged, unless it was on alcohol and that was more to forget the world of shit I was living in, the complete loss of control and the fact that I was really hungry. I was starving in every sense of the word.

Five years before that, I began dieting. It was my gateway drug to starvation. I was 12-years-old when my journey started. 12, the magical age of awkward bodies caught between a child and a woman. My dad suggested that maybe I needed to “run more”. That was enough especially at that time in adolescence when you gain weight, right before you begin to develop and everything goes to the right place. You know, the exact same age as my daughter is today.

I’ve spent my entire motherhood tenure doing everything I can to not repeat this cycle. Here we are. This precipice that silently scares me to death. I’m constantly looking for all the signs. But I’ve done a good job. She thinks she’s perfect. She loves herself and her body. Then, it happened, beyond my control.

READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Healthy Daughters

As we were leaving the pediatricians office after her well visit last week, our dr was telling the girls where they rank on the charts. My 12-year-old has consistently ranked around the 98th percentile since birth. But this time, the new dr ( a female and girl Mom) told her “your BMI is a little high, so technically you are overweight.”

I shot her a death stare as I wanted to murder her on the spot but didn’t want to make a big deal of it in front of the girls. She continued, but that’s to be expected in a girl your age because most girls put on a little weight during puberty before everything goes where it’s supposed to go.

I saw the gut punch on my daughters face. I felt the humiliation of being told that you’re not perfect. Then, I saw her second guess what she’s always known about herself … we she good enough?

I spent the ride home assuring her that the doctor said this was normal at this age. I assured her that she eats right and is very active and an athlete. She trusts me because I’m her mother. She accepted my words. But I know that now, forever, the seed of doubt has been planted and that crushes me.

Words have weight. Thoughts sometimes should be kept inside your head. Actions are forever.

I know there has been some controversy about the movie To the Bone. But coming from someone who knows, I think it was far from making anorexia seem desirable, or acting as if it stems from a desire to “look skinny.” The writing is sensitive but unsparingly real because it comes from personal experience. There were lines in there that only someone who has suffered from eating disorders would say or know. An anorexic can spot another anorexic from a mile away.

It’s the directorial film debut of Marti Noxon, a writer and executive producer on such shows as UnREAL and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and to write To the Bone she drew on her own battle with anorexia. (The film’s credits note that it is based on actual events.) I wouldn’t recommend you show it to your teen daughter but as a parent of a teen girl, or someone who loves someone living with this disorder or even for the girl surviving it…this movie, in my opinion, is a must see.

Have you seen To the Bone and what were your thoughts?

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix Stream Team, so I binge a lot of Netflix, but my opinion about To the Bone and my personal experience with eating disorders are all my own.

2017/08/25 1 comment

Netflix

by Deborah Cruz 2018/04/30

written by Deborah Cruz

Client: Netflix

Website: http://netflix.com

Task: Brand Ambassador

2018/04/30 0 comments

Entertainment Mental Health

14 Asian Rom Com Series that can Save You From Your Pandemic Pit of Despair

by Deborah Cruz 2020/09/15

written by Deborah Cruz

I’ve never needed streaming television more than I do now. This coronavirus pandemic has begun to affect me in ways that I never could have expected. I’ve watched everything in English, Spanish, French, Italian, Swedish and Belgian that I could find. I’ve always loved Asian horror because it’s simply the scariest. What I never expected my heart would need is Asian Rom Coms, all Asian Drama, K-dramas, C-drama, J-drama, coming of age series and kPop soundtracks. I’m not even a Rom-Com girl. But Asian Rom Com series just hit in a different way than their American counterparts. They are pure and innocent. I find myself smiling a lot.

If you’re not familiar with this genre, acquaint yourself. These series can also sometimes fall into the categories of K-Dramas, J-Dramas and C-Dramas. If you’re wondering why I am out of the blue recommending these shows, I’m going to be 100% honest with you. I’ve been really stressed during this pandemic but I’ve been keeping it all neatly bottled up inside because this issue is so huge and insurmountable that keeping a lid on my feelings about it is the only way for me to mentally survive it.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 27. I haven’t had a manic or depressive episode in over a decade. To be honest, the only “depression” I’ve truly ever experienced was the result of an overly stressful coming of age time in my own teens when my dad was a volatile alcoholic and again in 2012, when I lost our third baby. I actually feel like both of those instances were completely normal responses to the situation however, I am not trusted to assess my own emotional well-being. My point is that this pandemic has me terrified for my own mental health.

Rather than feeling like I’m depressed, at least not anything like I’ve ever known, I’m feeling anxious (again, I feel under these circumstances is a pretty normal reaction for anyone) but what’s scaring me is this walking a tightrope feeling in my gut that feels like mania is lurking right beneath the surface, just waiting to break through. That terrifies me because I’ve never had an episode since becoming a mom. But, I’m also not who I was in my 20’s, I know the disease I’m battling. I know it well. I’ve researched it, made peace with it and embraced it. I’ve had extensive training on how to move through it and how to get myself off the ledge. Still, it’s scary. The feeling that any wrong move can send me freefalling and crashing towards earth as my daughters and the Big Guy watch on. That scares me the most.

Luckily, I just had 2 weeks off of school (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I’ve gone back to school to get another Masters of Science (this time in Digital Marketing) during a pandemic?) but today, I went back. It gave me the time I needed to look more closely at the situation and realize what’s happening; to get my bearings. When I had my miscarriage, I had this same walking a tightrope feeling, I survived it with binge-watching the UK version of Shameless…all 10 seasons. I’m the kind of person who needs to feel her feelings and I write to process but when it gets to be too much, I start to short circuit. Recently, I’ve been finding it harder and harder to write. I can’t even will myself to commit my thoughts to keyboard. That means for my own mental health, I have to let go of the overthinking and I have to relinquish control and numb myself to relieve the pressure.

READ ALSO: The Last Goodbye

Before I knew what my diagnosis was, I used to drink to do this. I was in college so it seemed pretty normal. Didn’t every anorexic 100 lb girl drink 6-12 beers a night? I did. I don’t do that anymore. Seldom do I have even 3 drinks in a year these days. Caffeine and alcohol are on my “in moderation” list. Sleep for me is supposed to be 10-12 hours a night, to maintain normal. I live on 4-6, if I’m sick, I can force 8. My insomnia is my constant companion. I’ve noticed it’s gotten worse these past few weeks. My bedtime is frequently at 4 am. I know this is not normal but nothing brings the sleep, not even the sleep medication. This is a trigger warning for me.

My point to all of this is that Asian Rom Coms are currently saving my sanity. I need their quiet, sweet, romantic, coming-of-age endearing storylines to focus on and laugh and cry with to process my emotions in small quantities. These series are literally my emotional support series’. When I’m in a manic episode, I become obsessive so binge-watching is better than eating or shopping. The alternative is giving myself over to the erratic, reckless and self-satisfying darkness. Instead, I’m choosing to quiet my mind by anesthetizing it with the calm voices of Asia’s finest young actors. I’m enjoying them so much; I’m thinking of trying to learn Mandarin (because speaking 4 languages is not enough) …this could be the mania talking but I’m going to give it a try with no expectations (that’s how I know I’m still aware of my behavior).

READ ALSO: How to Love Forever

I know that the pandemic has brought about its own unique challenges for everyone, I’m not the only one whose mental illness has been reactivated in the wake of the world being on fire. I’m not special (look at me not having grandiose thoughts of self-importance). I’m not saying that Asian rom coms are the answer to saving the world’s sanity from the Coronavirus pandemic, but I’m not saying they’re not either. They are very entertaining, add levity, laughter and cathartic sobbing when needed and unlike the typical American teen dramas we are used to there is not any of the excessive drinking, juuling and sex scenes. It’s just endearing and thoughtful naïve first love, the kind we had in the beginning and wish for our own children to someday experience. Plus, the people, the music, the language and the culture are so beautiful to watch and learn more about. Right now, I’m truly thankful for Netflix and Rakuten Viki.

For me, I know that Asian rom coms can’t fix mental illness but just like psychiatric drugs, behavioral therapy and cognitive therapy, in my recovery, they definitely have their place. Here are my favorite Asian Rom Coms for beginners. For reference, my top 4 are the first 4 on the list below. Also, this list includes Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Taiwanese recs. Don’t worry if you don’t know the languages, that’s what subtitles are for and honestly, even without subtitles, you can enjoy these shows. Seriously, Asian Rom Coms can help us all survive the pandemic. TBH, the worst thing about Asian Rom Coms is that they end and I want more seasons.

Top Asian Rom Coms to watch for beginners

Meteor Garden

Chinese/ Netflix /2018

Dong Shancai is determined to excel at her dream university, where she encounters an elite clique of dashing, popular high-achievers — and finds love, Dao Ming Si. Starring Dylan Wang and Shen Yeu.

A Love so Beautiful

Chinese / Netflix/ 2017

The ups and downs of school, family and growing up test the love between a budding artist, Chen Xiaoxi, and her handsome but indifferent classmate and neighbor, Jiang Chen. Starring Hu Yi Tian and Shen Ye.

Go Go Squid

Chinese/ Rakuten Viki/ 2019

At 19, Tong Nian, a brilliant IT programming student with stellar grades and an equally impressive social media following, is winning at life. She never has a problem meeting new people. But all that changes the day Han Shang Yan walks into her life. Starring Li Xian, Yang Zi and Hu Yi Tian.

I Hear You

Chinese/ Netflix/ 2019

Love blooms between a bubbly, aspiring voice actress and a cool, enigmatic violin-maker after they cross paths on a reality TV show. Starring Riley Wang, Zhao Lusi and Zhang Jiongmin.

Miss In Kiss

Taiwanese/ Netflix/ 2016

A quirk of fate sends an ordinary, sweet-natured high school girl and her father into the home of the school genius, on whom she has a huge crush. Starring Dino Lee and Esther Wu.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder

Chinese/ Netflix/ 2019

As Si Tu Mo’s graduation is nearing, she is confused about her future plans. She tries out all sorts of things all the time and is unable to make her own decisions. Starring Lin Yi and Xing Fei.

The Liar and His Lover

South Korean/ Netflix/ 2017

Love Story of a genius composer and a high school girl who sings. She falls in love at first sight but it’s never that easy. The drama is based on the popular Japanese manga Kanojo wa Uso o Aishisugiteru by Kotomi Aoki. Starring Lee Hyun-woo and Joy with Lee Jung-jin, Lee Seo-won and Hong Seo-young

Second 20s

South Korean/ Netflix/ 2015

Almost 40, Ha No-Ra’s son is about to go away to college and her husband wants a divorce the moment the kid’s out of the house. Ha No-Ra goes back to school and meets Cha Hyun-Suk, an old schoolmate who is now a professor. Unknown to her, Cha Hyun-Suk had the biggest crush on her in high school but she never noticed. Starring Choi Ji-woo and Lee Sang-yoon.

My First First Love

Korean/ Netflix/ 2019

Due to various personal reasons, some of Yun Tae-o’s friends move into his house, where they experience love, friendship and everything in between. Starring Ji Soo and Jung Chae-Yeon.

Hello, My Twenties

Korean/ Netflix/ 2016

Five female housemates and college students meet and live at the Belle Epoque. While strangers at first, they are able to bond and connect over the traumas they experienced while growing up. Together they juggle the perils of adult life. Starring Ryu Hwa-young, Park Hye-soo, Park Eun-bin, Han Seung –yeon , Han Ye-ri, Yoon Park and Shin Hyun-soo.

Good Morning Call

Japanese/ Netflix/ 2016

A teenager has finally gotten her own apartment. The only problem is that she’s sharing it with the most popular boy in school, and they have to keep it a secret. Starring Shun’ya Shiraishi and Haruka Fukuhara.

Love Alarm

Korean/ Netflix/ 2019

In a world in which an app alerts people if someone in the vicinity likes them, Kim Jojo experiences young love while coping with personal adversities. Starring Song Kang and Kim So-hyun.

Shy Boss

Korean/ Netflix/ 2017

The quiet life of an extreme introvert is thrown upside down when his company hires a cheery and outgoing new employee who’s not all she seems. Starring Yeon Woo-jin, Park Hye-soo and Yoon Park.

Accidentally in Love

Korean/ Netflix/ 2018

A popular singer decides to go back to school, becoming the center of attention there and meets an ordinary female student who is more than he ever imagined. Starring Guo Junchen, Amy Sun, Zhao Yiqin and Yuan Hao.

This is just a beginner’s list of some of my favorites. There are so many more and I encourage you all to check them all out. I highly recommend you check them out and if you do, please come back here and leave me some comments. I’m fairly new to the genre but would love to discuss it with all of you, especially if you’ve watched them or have recommendations of K-Drama and Asian Rom Coms that I should check out, bonus points if they have Li Xian, Dylan Wang and Shen Yeu in them.

2020/09/15 2 comments

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