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The Truth about Motherhood, girl mom, mom life

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When you were pregnant did you ever wonder what the hell the truth about motherhood was really going to be? Did any of us really consider what was about to happen or were we so overwrought with hormones and “mothering instincts” that we just assumed that it would all come naturally? Silly girl, I guess that was a lesson we all had to learn the hard way. That’s the funny thing about motherhood, it’s the most important job in the world and nature counts on us “learning as we go.” So strap on the biggest mom goggles you’ve got because life’s about to get mom colored.

I bet you never realized that motherhood is a club, more exclusive than the Junior League, the country club or any other social/philanthropic women’s club you’d ever encountered up until now. I know it seems like they let anyone in but they don’t. Sure lots of women can get pregnant and technically be a “mom” but there’s more to it than just egg meet sperm. It takes a tough broad to really by a mommy; to invest her life in such a thankless pursuit. 

It’s called motherhood, full of bliss and insanity, and it’s situated right in the middle of a war. It’s like the middle east with screaming newborns and crying moms but instead of AK-47s we’re all being held hostage by one emotion; love…unconditional, never ending, all consuming, kiss your baby on the lips, eat half chewed up Cheerios and smell a baby’s butt in public…LOVE.

Welcome to the TRUTH about Motherhood

This is where I will give you the real, true to life play-by-play of this lunacy we call parenting. Believe me when I tell you that I never thought I would become this person. Before I was an actual mom, I was the best mom ever. I knew everything and had parenting down to a science but then actual living, breathing human beings entered the picture and all my thoughts on parenting went to shit.

Yes, there are many, many women in this club, from all countries and walks of life. Do you know of any other sorority where the initiation rite is growing and producing a human being? Seriously, that’s a little steep. It’s a never ending membership. Once you’ve joined, you’re a lifer and believe me it’s more stringent than any other club I belong to. It’s like being jumped into a gang. There is no way out. It’s a ’til death to we part sort of situation so hold on to your hats ladies, shit’s about to get real up in here.

motherhood, mother

 The Real TRUTH about Motherhood

Once you are in the “Motherhood”, you are continuously scrutinized for your choices; from conception (whether its planned or a completely unexpected pregnancy), to delivery, what you wear, what your child wears, how you speak to your child, what classes you take and the lists goes on to infinity and beyond. Worse still, most other mothers never tell you the “truth” about how hard motherhood is but they will judge you for your mistakes. Double edged motherhood sword in the house. The secrets of motherhood are securely hidden from the newbies under lock and key by other mothers; being careful not to reveal an inkling of the real truth for fear that the species may cease to exist.

But I think we are tougher than that. I think we moms are stronger than we give ourselves credit for being and I think our best chance of being the best moms we can be to our children is through forging a real sisterhood through motherhood. There is strength in numbers and if we all just be real with one another, we can lift one another up. Help one another survive without too much guilt and a whole lot of beautiful memories.

motherhood,the truth about motherhood, pregnancy, babies, parenting

You aren’t usually told the hard truth about pregnancy, labor, subsequent siblings, bedtime, discipline, after baby body or any of the other gruesome aspects of motherhood by your friends and neighbors.  You will hear all about the awesomeness by your mom friends. You will have rainbows and unicorns coming out of your ass. But that’s not reality. I’m Debi, a very Truthful Mommy and this is the truth that your mothers, sisters and girlfriends might never tell you!

This is the beginning, so if you are ready for the TRUTH about motherhood, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as it happens to me, stay tuned! I’ll be giving you the good, the bad, the ugly of motherhood. I’ll be irreverent and brutally honest, so hold on to your hats. Shit is about to get real. Welcome to The TRUTH about Motherhood. My TRUTH about Motherhood!

motherhood, parenting, mother, the TRUTH about Motherhood

 

 

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You are my sunshine

 

My guest writer today is the magnificent Erin Margolin. I say magnificent because getting to know her as a writer, a woman, a mother and a true, honest to goodness, friend, I know that this woman is one of a kind. Her soul is deep, her heart is kind and it all shows in her writing. It is truly my honor to share with you, my friend and talented writer, Erin Margolin. Do yourself a favor and check our her blog Erin L Margolin (ELM) , you will be so glad to have found her beautiful stories and wonderfully weaved words. She is a writer’s writer and I love reading her posts. I also highly suggest that you follow her on Twitter, this is how I really got to know her and, it sounds cheezy, but this lady makes my days brighter by seeing her gorgeous smile in my stream. Love, love, love her!

Thank you Erin for being such a wonderful presence on the Internet and an amazing friend. XOXO

P.S.  Please vote for her pitch at The Moth (click the stars to vote): Erin M.on 4/26/12: https://bit.ly/qoLpXE . She truly is an amazing writer and so deserves to win this!

The truth about motherhood is…

That being a mom to my singleton (now) is completely different than being a mom to my multiples (who were born in 2005). This time around, I get to snuggle and bond. Piper’s body curves, fitting into mine like a puzzle piece; sliding into this perfect spot, her head resting sideways on my right shoulder, her soft locks tickling my neck, her knees and legs hugging my torso. She loves to hum, and every sigh and breath touches a place in me that I’m incapable of putting into words.

She was a miracle, you know.

I didn’t have this kind of quality time with my twins. I’m wading through that guilt now, feeling as if I never got to cherish either of them alone, unless one or the other was sick. Raising Abby and Izzy was so stressful I can barely remember the first year of their lives, which saddens me. While they don’t remember what they missed out on, I certainly do. Which is enough melancholia for all three of us.

Somehow though, the waves of love and sheer bliss I feel these days crashes into the guilt– like a tumble of salty surf hitting the shore–and obliterates it. I can’t help myself, I’m gobbling her up every moment. Literally pretending to eat her feet and nibble her toes, and she loves it. The drool soaks her clothes and mine, her fist grabs hunks of my hair and we both shriek. I can’t stop kissing her chubby cheeks and my prescription for a bad day is to plunk her in the tub, where she kicks and splashes and delights in the warm water. If I need a smile, I watch her reach to grab her toes and make futile attempts to get them in her mouth. She’s so smart she’s already learned to share her graham crackers with the dog.

Every night before I put her to sleep, I sing You Are My Sunshine. I only know the first two verses:

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are grey.

You’ll never know, dear,

How much I love you.

Please don’t take my sunshine away

The other night, dear,

As I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms.

When I awoke, dear,

I was mistaken

And I hung my head and cried.

I never sang to the twins. I have a terrible voice anyway. But I sing these two verses to Piper most nights just before putting her in her crib. My mom sang them to me.

But the truth about motherhood is….she’s my miracle, my red bean. The truth is that I’m allowed to have a different experience with her. The truth about motherhood is that it’s okay to feel guilty sometimes, but not ALL the time.

The truth about motherhood is that this is my destiny–being a mom to three gorgeous girls.

The truth about motherhood is it’s not all sunshine and roses. There are bumps in the road, things like depression and anxiety and family issues. Sometimes these things make motherhood difficult.

The truth about motherhood is that there’s no exact change, no magic formula, no right or wrong way. It’s just about love. Lots and lots of it to go around.

The truth about motherhood is that I’ve finally found my voice.

And I can sing.

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This month is a big deal in my house. We start the month off with the Big Guy turning 36 tomorrow,that is followed by Mother’s Day ( my 6th to be exact), then my  2nd official blogging anniversary, then the Big Guy and myself will be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary, followed by my Gabriella turning 4.May is a big month indeed.

To help celebrate my 2 years of blogging I am going to be featuring some of the greatest bloggers I know. I hope that you will stop by and say hi and learn their Truths about Motherhood. I will be featuring a different blogger Monday thru Thursday the entire month of May. I will still be blogging, as well , but I really want you all to join in the celebration and check out the amazing guest posts that will be featured. What better way to celebrate 2 years of blogging then by having a bloggy party with all my bloggy friends.

I started this blog as a way to pursue my passion of writing and build a community of sisterhood through motherhood.I spent the first couple of years of motherhood feeling very isolated and alone. It was as if I was alone on an island with this little person who didn’t even speak the same language. I love the little people in my life, beyond comprehension,don’t get me wrong. But I was getting a little stir crazy with no adults to talk to; no other mothers with whom to compare war stories. Worse yet, as soon as my poor husband walked through the door all I wanted to do was talk to an adult. The verbal diarrhea that that poor man has had to endure over the past six years is explosive.I would assault him with a barrage of words, from the moment he walked through the door until he pretended to be went to asleep. Hell,I’m not even sure most of it made sense to him. But he would sit there, like a prisoner in silence letting me ramble on and decompress. He really is awesome.

The moms that I did have in my life weren’t really sharing the gory end of motherhood. It was mostly rainbows and unicorns and this left me feeling like a complete failure as a Mother. I mean if all the other Moms were happy and it was easy, obviously it was me who had the problem. I was perfectly imperfect. I was a failure from the moment I took the epidural during labor up until the moment I met these other mothers and it was time I admitted it, no time that I owned it. According to all the parenting books and those wonderful women that I was sipping coffee and swapping rainbow and unicorn baby stories with, I was a complete and utter loser. It was a hard pill to swallow and I spent a lot of time punishing myself for being a sub par Mom. Then it happened. The first crack in the facade of lies. After, months of talking and getting to know one of the moms, I was talking about how Bella still slept with us and how I loved it but I really wasn’t getting any restful sleep. This was, of course, met with disapproving nods and a resounding feeling of failure. Then, this one Mom shook her head…but in knowing agreement. I saw it. I knew it. And, later in private, she admitted that her daughter still was in the bed too. That she couldn’t get that kid out if she paid her and she knew this because she had tried.  I almost cried tears of joy. Not because I was happy that she was going through this but because I wasn’t the only one and if I wasn’t the only one then maybe, just maybe, I Wasn’t a FAILURE! Maybe I was just normal.

I always kept a journal of the girls lives from conception on. When an old friend from college and I had reconnected, she urged me to start a blog, as a way of pursuing my writing. I wasn’t very familiar with blogs or the whole Mommy blogger community. But I knew that if I was going to write, I needed to write about what I knew. I decided that I wanted to be the Mommy who gives you the brutal truth about motherhood as it happens. The glory and the gory, the failures and the successes, good, bad and ugly. I think that I have done so by staying true to who I am and not sugar coating the reality of Motherhood. It’s misery peppered with moments of profound bliss and happiness. It’s not easy.If it were, men could have babies!

This is how The TRUTH about Motherhood came into creation 2 years ago, May 7,2009. It was the beginning of one of the greatest endeavors of my life. It’s not everyone that gets to do what they are passionate about on a daily basis and as a bonus meet wonderful women all over the world. I learn and grow from each and every one of you and I thank you for joining in this sisterhood with me. There have been some URL changes and blog design changes,I know I lost some people along the way so if you got lost in the shuffle, I am sorry. Please fill free to subscribe so I don’t loose you again. Thank you all for the fantastic dialogue we’ve been having these past 2 years!

XO Debi

Here is the first post I ever wrote. It feels like a lifetime ago. There were some great posts in the beginning that no one ever got to read because no one knew who the hell I was. I hadn’t built my community yet, feel free to peruse the posts from the beginning. I’m sure you will be able to relate and you may even find you can relate to my TRUTH about Motherhood.

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jessica Gottlieb,the truth about motherhood is that parents lie

Today, I have the honor of having the fabulously awesome Jessica Gottlieb sharing her TRUTH about motherhood. *Excuse me while I squee. ( Yes, I actually used the word squee but I am just that excited) I’m sure I just lost some cool points with Jessica by making that confession but I don’t care. I must admit I have a little bit of a blogalicious crush on her. She is not only my blogging shero; she is intelligent, funny, witty, wonderful and the queen of snarkilicousness. She is a thinking Mom’s blogger. To top it off, she is the most honest, real, down to earth woman/writer that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She hardly needs an introduction but in case you are new to blogging or live in a little social media vacuum, Jessica is the brilliant author of www.JessicaGottlieb.com and you can also find her on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Momversation.com,www.tehuser.com and just about any place else that you might expect the grand dame of Mommy blogging to be found. But today, I am excited to say that she can also be found on the TRUTH about Motherhood. Thank you so much for sharing your TRUTH about motherhood with us!

jessica Gottlieb,the truth about motherhood is that you lie alot

The Truth About Motherhood is that You Lie A lot

Mothers are liars. Our children are weaned on lies. I learned to lie in my teens when my mother asked me where I was going. Nowhere. Who is going nowhere with you? No one. Are you smoking cigarettes? Absolutely not. I know you’re smoking pot. No mom.

So we learned in our teens to hide our boyfriends, our vices, and our nights out. I learned to hide my questionable grades and I learned how to cram and get myself out of trouble, well, most of the time.

I learned how to keep secrets, and little did I know how much I would need that skill in motherhood.

I can’t tell my children everything I think, I’m a mother for heavens’ sake. I would never tell them how utterly unprepared for motherhood I feel. I would never tell them that there are parts of school that really don’t matter. I tell my kids that they can be good at things that we both know they’re unlikely to excel at.

I told them about the toothfairy and Mr G told them they were bought at Babies R Us on a rare snowy nights. The snow made his hair grey.

I have told my children that you don’t have sleepovers with the opposite sex until you’re married, and I know I’m doomed because my brother has lived with his girlfriend for sixteen years. I’ve told my children that good things happen to good people. I never mention that captains of industry might behave like shits and get richer, or that children die and certainly a child couldn’t be bad.

I’ve lied to them repeatedly all the while demanding honestly.

The real truth of motherhood can be found somewhere among the lies.

Jessica Gottlieb is a Mom Blogger in Los Angeles.

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www.motherhoodthetruth.com, www.marriedmysugardaddy.com, Melissa Chapman, The TRUTH about Motherhood

Today, I am truly honored to have the lovely and witty Melissa of Married my Sugar Daddy. She writes with humor and honesty that make me keep coming back for more. If you have not had the pleasure of reading /knowing Melissa (@Madijack) , I certainly recommend that you  get to know her. She is snarky and funny and 21 flavors of entertaining. I love reading her blog, I always come away feeling like I’ve been catching up with an old friend. She has made me laugh,cry and think…sometimes in the same post. Thank you so much Melissa for sharing your truth with so much going on right now. XOXO

www.motherhoodthetruth.com, www.marriedmysugardaddy.com, Melissa Chapman, The TRUTH about Motherhood

The TRUTH about Motherhood

I really believed when I was smack in the trenches of arguing with my husband about  not wanting him to buy the no-frills diapers-, since  my kids ALWAYS leaked through them- that once the stage of them being completely dependent on me for their basic needs was done- I’d be in the homestretch.

I thought those early years- getting up at the crack of 2am to heat up a bottle (which I only realized after my second baby- was as simple as popping  a cup of water into the microwave as opposed to boiling hot water over an open flame for 20 minutes) was the grueling part of motherhood. But the thing is- during all those early years- motherhood’s challenges are primarily physical. They test your endurance, school you on how to be a muti-tasker and at times make you feel like you are operating on auto-pilot.  But your kids-unless they’re dragging around a soiled diaper- are for the most part, happy, smiling little babes, who let you dress them up and create your very own mirror image in them.

Then they grow up- and of course, no one tells you that the real meat and work begins then. As my kids have gotten older, the questions- that seemingly come out of nowhere have begun to permeate our every conversation at this breakneck pace- and my inability to keep up and juggle all their feelings, thoughts, self-esteem issues, confidence and little egos feels like a balancing act that is simply impossible.

I often feel ill-equipped to be the source for all these pressing concerns- like; who the hell am I to answer all these questions, assuage their fears and am I enough to be able to raise these two individuals and arm them with everything they’ll ever need to become independent enough to feel okay on their own. And I know I’m not alone in these thoughts, in my insecurities about motherhood. But honestly I  just wish there was a manual that would fool-proof every impulse I have and make sure it was the correct one. The truth about motherhood is that no one tells you what an awesome responsibility this motherhood thing is- and that there are no guarantees  it will all end up the way you want it to.

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Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

 

Today is the last day of my month long celebration of my 2nd Blog anniversary ( And MY 600th post in 2 years) and I wanted to share Truthful Mommy Tells All~ My TRUTH about Motherhood. I also want to thank all of my fabulously talented and honest friends who shared their truth with my readers. You are my village and you all help me through this journey of motherhood with our conversations. I hope that sharing my TRUTH over these past two years has been a source of comfort and commiseration for you to know that you are not alone in this roller coaster of uncertainty that we call parenting.  My truth is  something that I have been learning slowly over the past 6 years and even more so since I have joined the blogging community. I don’t think I can contain it all in a single post but I will share some of it here. Again, thank YOU for joining the conversation and trusting me enough to share your experiences with the TRUTH about Motherhood community.

Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

My TRUTH about Motherhood; My Sunshine

  • No Mommy is an island. Sometimes, it may feel like you are stranded alone and desperate on an island all by yourself with the crazy little natives but you are never alone. All you have to do is reach out and there you will find the sisterhood that will rescue you from the solitude and the drowning days. Make no mistake, that life preserver can come in the form of family, a friend,your husband, the next door neighbor,the lady sitting across from you at ballet rehearsal, a mommy of one of your children’s friends, a doctor, someone you’ve met online or through your blog, or a complete stranger. We only have to be open to seeing the preserver, which usually comes in the form of a honest conversation.

 

Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

My TRUTH about Motherhood, my Heart

  • It really does take a village to raise a child. I have not lived close to family  since having my children so I have had to be dependent on a small but mighty group of women who I am blessed to call my sisters. It only works if you can be honest though. Our tight knit friendships were forged through pain and honesty. The first step is acceptance. We had to accept that we are not perfect and everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help up and an ear to listen during the tough times as well as a friend to truly enjoy the happy times.

 

Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

  • Children really do change everything. From the moment you are aware of their existence, they change you from the physicality of your body,what you eat, drink, your lifestyle, your finances, your perspective of the world, your job, your beliefs,your hopes and dreams even the very way that you move through the world.One thing I can guarantee you that you will experience when you have your baby, everything else that you ever held in esteem will become a distant second.

 

  • Truthful Mommy Tells All~My TRUTHs about Motherhood

 

  • You will love your children more than you have ever loved anything in the entire world. (maybe not at first and certainly you may not like them at times(especially the hormonal teen years) but you will come to love them always.)You will realize that you have forgotten most of your life before they came into it. You will realize that you are capable of being a selfless person, no matter how selfish you may have been beforehand.You will make sacrifices that you would have never in your entire life thought yourself capable of. Children test our character and stretch our hearts above and beyond capacity.
  • You will cry at the thought of them growing up and leaving, no matter how absolutely crazy they may drive you when they are screaming, fighting, tantruming, biting their siblings,asking you the same question 7000 times,or staying up all night with colic. No matter how hard they may make life in the moment, there is nothing greater than tiny arms wrapped around your neck telling you how much they love you….looking at you like a fat kid looks at cake.There is no greater love than that experienced between a parent and a child.
  • They make us better people.You will become a better version of yourself. Oh there will be days of complete doubt and feelings of incompetency and guilt. The guilt is almost too much to bear on some days. The guilt is the growing pains of motherhood. It is us metamorphosing into our better self. As we strive to be better people for our littles, we begin to experience regret for some of our actions. This is where we must forgive ourselves. No one is perfect. Some days we growl and roar and some days we cry and other days we do every single thing right and its the BEST DAY EVER but through every single minute of it…we love so big that our hearts are about to burst.This is love.
  • Naps are as important to Mommies as food and water are to the rest of the population. Naps for the kids so you can have alone time.Time to decompress, think and regroup…to hang on to that last thread of your sanity. Naps for you because Mommies need sleep. Repeat after me…MOMMIES NEED SLEEP. This is so you can function at human capacity, be a better Mommy and feel better about yourself.Start this routine before the baby is born. If you are tired, take a nap!
  • Motherhood is misery peppered with moments of complete bliss.It’s a lot of hard work with no downtime ( and really crappy pay) and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. But the moments of joy, all those moments that overwhelm and eradicate the minutia , they are so big that they fill our hearts like a camels humps and we can live on the joyous moments through the guilt and the self sacrifice and even the tantruming, nothing’s going right..I’m still in my yoga pants from yesterday and my hairs not been washed in a week days. The bliss is ethereal. The misery is relevant. One days misery is another days joy. Embrace it all, every single moment of it because it is fleeting.
  • You will never again think in terms of “Me” and “I”, it will forevermore be “We” and “Us”. It’s not enough that I have become this self-sacrificing, put them ahead of my every want and need, person. Now, when I walk through the stores..even when they are not with me physically, I say “Excuse us”” we would like…”. I get the strangest looks.  Because even though they are not by my side, they have taken up permanent residence in my heart and I am sure they will remain there throughout my time on earth( I wouldn’t have it any other way). I have finally began to emerge from my Mommy coma and remember who I am and what I wanted before they came into my life. But my perspective has changed, all that was SO important to me before is not that important to me now. Things that were completely unimportant are now vital. I have changed. I am constantly evolving.I am realizing that as they grow and need me less, I can claim a little more of my time and thought for myself but they still permeate the very core of all that I do.For example, I write this blog because writing is a passion of mine, always has been. But I write about my life as a Mother, which is directly influenced by them. See how that works:) I guess I can look at it as I have the best of both worlds.It just took me a little while to learn how to exist with a foot in each world without losing my balance and toppling.
  • Motherhood is the most humbling, amazing, insanity inducing experience that one can ever endure with a smile on their face and come out the other end feeling like not only did you survive but you changed the world. When I first thought of becoming a mother, I thought of holding a tiny new baby in my arms and loving it more than anything ever before or since. That I was spot on about. But I never could have imagined the ways in which motherhood has tested me physically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually. It has rocked my very soul. I have been pulled and pushed and stomped and scratched and beaten by motherhood only to emerge, stronger than I EVER thought I was capable of being. Motherhood has taught me that life is unexpected and in the experiencing is the living. We can not plan, organize, chart or will what life will bring to us when we have children. We are at the mercy of our all encompassing mother’s heart. I have been brought to tears by my child’s bravery, a tiny needle in an even tinier vein on my baby’s hand brought me to my knees, jaundice almost sent me into a tailspin, breastfeeding broke my heart, cartoons have made me cry, I have a phobia of raisins because one almost stole my daughter from me. I have gained superhero powers when the moment called for it. I have turned into a mother bear, tiger, and even a helicopter on occasion.I have become pliable where I used to be cut and dry. I have learned that I can bend and twist and stretch and pull and push but I will not break. I have learned that poop can be consumed in small amounts and not kill you. I have learned that pennies can be swallowed an come out the other end. I have learned that pearls, fuscilli, and popcorn kernels all fit perfectly up a child’s nose. I’ve learned that when a phone is in a grown ups hand a child will begin to talk incessantly. I’ve learned that when little people talk, they have a lot to say. I’ve also learned that they are a lot smarter and wiser than we give them credit for being.I’ve learned that when they are hurt or their heart is broken, my heart feels the pain..ten fold. I have learned that I would stop a bullet with my face if it meant keeping my child out of harms way. I’ve learned that if someone rear ends my car with my girls inside, they run the risk of a crazy whip-lashed lady jumping out of the car and attacking them. I’ve learned this and so much more that I’d need to write a book to share it all. But most of all,I’ve learned that MY world is a better place with my girls in it for me to love.

 

Truthful Mommy,My TRUTH about Motherhood

 My TRUTH about Motherhood, My Life

  • Motherhood is hard work.If anyone tells you any different, they are a liar. It is the hardest job that you will ever love. But there are moments when you won’t love it so much.That’s OK. That’s normal.If you loved every single second of every single day of Motherhood, we’d have to assume that you were on a high dose of prescription drugs or Mommy juice and that’s perfectly acceptable at times too. Just always remember, if you love your child unconditionally, do the best you can to teach them to be good people, and keep them healthy and out of harms way…YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY EVER! (I know this because my girls tell me this daily, between the I hate yous and I love yous!)

P.S. This post originally went live on May 31, 2011 but I needed the reminder of all these things today. It’s a year and a half later and it’s still all relevant. I am guest posting at my friend, Gigi’s today talking about my early onset holiday burnout. She has a wonderful series called Around the Bonfire and asked me to join in. I am honored. Hope you will check it out.

I shared my TRUTH about Motherhood, what is yours?

 

 

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INternational Women's Day,#tbt, Throwback Thursday, The TRUTH about Motherhood, Motherhood

Today is Throwback Thursday #tbt and I’m doing it parenting style. It’s all about the motherhood. There will be a Throat Punch Thursday post here on The TRUTH  later today. But since it’s my 5-year anniversary week,  I have decided to do a little Throwback Thursday post #tbt.

This was the first post that I EVER wrote.I am pretty sure that no one ever read it:)  I had no idea what I was doing as a blogger and was definitely still figuring out motherhood. I knew what I wanted this blog to be. I wanted it to be a place where other mothers could come and get the real nitty, gritty down low on motherhood. I was tired of feeling like a failure only to find out that other mothers were only telling me the good parts of their experience and never the hard parts.

As I got to know more moms, I realized they were just trying to protect themselves because all they were hearing were the good parts and in the end…we all felt like failures. I never wanted another new mom to feel like a failure again. That is why I started this blog. I figured if I shared my highs and lows, if only one other mom felt better about herself or felt like she wasn’t alone, I had made a difference. I was trying to be the change.  Here is my #TBT post complete with Throwback Thursday Photos. Enjoy.

Parenting for beginners.

motherhood,the truth about motherhood, pregnancy, babies, parenting

There’s a club, more exclusive than the Junior League, the country club, or any other social/philanthropic women’s club, it’s called the Mommy club also known as the bliss/insanity that is Motherhood.

Welcome to the TRUTH about Motherhood where parenting gets really real.

Yes, there are many, many women in this club, from all countries and walks of life. Do you know of any other sorority where the initiation rite is growing and producing a human being? Seriously, that’s a little steep. It’s a never ending membership. Once you’ve joined, you’re a lifer and believe me it’s more stringent than any other club I belong to. It’s like being jumped into a gang. There is no way out. It’s a ’til death to we part sort of situation.

motherhood, mother

 Motherhood is hard. Parenting is not for the weak.

Once you are in the “Motherhood”, you are continuously scrutinized for your choices; from conception, to delivery, what you wear, what your child wears, how you speak to your child, what classes you take and the lists goes on to infinity and beyond. Worse still, other mothers seldom tell you the whole truth about motherhood. Parenting is the best kept secret there is. No one wants to admit how challenging it can really be.

The secrets of parenting are securely hidden from the newbies under lock and key by other parents. Being careful not to reveal an inkling of the real truth for fear that the species may cease to exist. You won’t be told the hard truth about pregnancy, labor, subsequent siblings, bedtime, discipline, after baby body or any of the other gruesome aspects of motherhood by your friends and neighbors.  You will hear all about the awesomeness by your mom friends. You will have rainbows and unicorns coming out of your ass. But that’s not reality.

The reality is that parenting is the hardest job that you will ever love.

I’m Truthful Mommy , also known as Deborah to other adults, and this is the truth that your mothers, sisters, and girlfriends never told you! This is the beginning, so if you are ready for the TRUTH about motherhood, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as it happens to me, put on your mom goggles and have a seat and stay awhile. I’ll be giving you the good, the bad, the ugly of motherhood. I’ll be irreverent and brutally honest, so hold on to your hats. Sh*t is about to get real. Welcome to The TRUTH about Motherhood.

motherhood, parenting, mother, the TRUTH about Motherhood

My TRUTH about Motherhood is that parenting is everything.

I hope you will come back tomorrow and check out my new series This Blogger’s Life... My first interview will be with my friend, Jill Smokler,  the awesome force behind Scary Mommy! It will be live at 8 am EST. 

Okay, lets see those #TBT photos on Instagram. Leave your Instagram name in the comments and I will follow! I’m Deborah Cruz on Instagram.

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Today, I have one of my favorite bloggy friends to help celebrate my 2nd blogiversary, Jennifer of Perfectly Disheveled. If you have not read Jenny before you are in for a treat. She is light-hearted, honest, funny, with a pinch of snark and always looks freaking completely put together. I am as serious as a heart attack. If she weren’t so damn awesome, she’d definitely be the Mommy I was jealous of looking so damn fashionable and cute all the time. Anyways, it’s late and I’m rambling. Bottom line is this, she is a fabulous writer, an awesome friend ( you know the kind who’d have your back in any situation but somehow still remain a complete lady), and an even more fantastic Mommy. She’s here to share her 10 truths about Motherhood and I am thrilled to have her here at The TRUTH about Motherhood.

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Courtesy of Perfectly Disheveled

The truth is…

 

I love Poop Talk. I’ve always thought poop was funny. I was the girl in elementary school (okay, maybe college too) that laughed when the boys farted. Thirty years later, I’m still the girl that laughs when a (three year old) boy farts– Only, my “laugh” is now in the form of “please say, ‘excuse me.'” or “please refrain from saying poop at the table, honey. That’s potty talk.” But in truth, I’m cracking up inside.

 

The truth is…

 

Cheerios have become as crucial as oxygen.. I never knew I could get so comfortable sleeping on them, finding them in pockets, pushing them aside in my purse. Crushed or whole, I have come to accept them every day, all day long.

 

The truth is…

 

I’m exhausted.

 

The truth is…

 

I love boogers.Let me be clear, i love my SON’s Boogers. I could wipe his nose or squeejie out snot with that little hospital bulb- turkey baster thing all day long if he’d let me. This applies strictly to his nose and his nose only though. Ask me to help you with your runny nose (or worse, pop a zit), I will vomit.

 

The truth is…

 

I “get” guilt mom guilt. I mean, I get it and I GET it. I understand how deep love can be and I understand how you can be so in love it can eat you up and even make you feel bad, because all you want to do is be so good. I get it.

 

The truth is….

Stay at home, work at home, work full time, work part time, work abroad, wealthy, privileged, poor, single, divorced, or somewhere where in between it is the hardest job in the entire world. Period.

 

The truth is…

 

Overall my body is actually “better” than it was before I had a baby (not withstanding that very-never-to-be-seen-again-wedding-weight.) The state of my boobs, however, I blame entirely on breast feeding advocates.

 

(Speaking of which…) The truth is…

 

Breastfeeding was not easy for me. I did it exclusively for 6 months but in truth, not sure if I loved it at all. I will absolutely breastfeed for my next baby (no plans in the near future in case you’re wondering). But I will definitely not put as much pressure on myself. My mom didn’t breastfeed me and judging by the 25 phone calls and texts exchanged daily, I’d say we’re pretty bonded. And I’m kinda smart.

 

The truth is…

 

It’s the best lesson in “don’t knock it, ’til you try it.” Before becoming a mom, I was definitely that person who judged other parents… how they disciplined, what they fed their children, how much TV they allowed. Yeahhhhh….. Sorry about that. I stand corrected. About it all. I get it now.

 

The truth is…

 

Nothing Matters more. This is not to say that I’ve given up on all things other than motherhood. This just means that it’s the thing I want to be the very best at.

 

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Today, I have the pleasure of having Heather Reinhard of ThetaMom as my guest on The TRUTH about Motherhood. Heather is a fabulous writer and all around wonderful lady. As I read her post, I realized just how much the two of us have in common. We have a common goal; to share the truth about Motherhood and to build a sisterhood of Motherhood. I have a great respect for Heather and I think that you will really enjoy her piece. If you are not a follower of Heather, I hope that you will do yourself and favor and check out this classy Mommy. If you are here from ThetaMom.com, Welcome and I am glad to have you here as I celebrate my 2nd year blog anniversary. Thank you Heather for sharing your Truth. XO

 

My Truth

 

I always knew I would be a mother someday. I think many of us have those dreams similar to those of walking down the aisle and buying the perfect little house with the white picket fence. Well, purchasing that first home and even getting married are huge milestones, but my life completely changed when I entered the world of motherhood.

 

What’s my truth?

 

Pretty much the very reason I began my blog – I wanted to connect with other women and mothers who I know were experiencing the same kind of things as I was experiencing. I developed a Mission which essentially became the purpose of my blog.

I remember thinking, “Why didn’t anyone divulge the real deal to me about actually giving birth? Why didn’t anyone tell me the whole truth about what to really expect? Why didn’t they force me to take some time for myself and enjoy every second of being selfish before I gave birth?

Why didn’t they tell me to travel more? Why didn’t they tell me that this would be the most difficult job and also the most rewarding at the same time?

Why didn’t they describe the heartache I would feel when my child was sick? Why didn’t they sit me down and really tell me the long and challenging road I would have ahead of me before bringing this beautiful human being into the world?

Why didn’t they emphasize the fact that life as I once knew it would never be the same on so many levels?

Bottom line?

I felt like I was misinformed. I felt like there was a secret code shared among mothers that wasn’t written or spoken about. And I feel the same way about motherhood.

Why didn’t anyone tell me the real deal about motherhood? Although I love my children more than anything in the world, the reality of this role was never clearly defined for me. It is by far the hardest job on the planet. So, I decided to break the secret code or at least maybe the silence. Hence, Theta Mom was born.

Theta Mom is my truth and my salvation; a place that encourages all mothers to feel united as we travel this road together. We are not perfect. We admit when we fail and we are proud of how we gracefully pick up the pieces, learn from our mistakes and move on as better mothers for it.

Motherhood is not easy – but at least we are in this thing together.

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Mommy Friend~My Truth ABout Motherhood

I’d like to welcome the  lovely and sweet Lori of Mommyfriend to the TRUTH about Motherhood. Lori is exactly what she says she is a “Mommyfriend”. I love her attitude. Lori is loving motherhood and her husband and it is evident on her blog. She is witty and adorable. She is peppy and perky and when I read her blog, I leave feeling rejuvenated. Her blog is the blog for every Mommy. She shares the ups and downs of being a Mommy, wife and trying to keep all the balls in the air and she does it all with a smile.You can find her here and on Twitter.Mommyfriend is a friend that you want to have. Thank you Lori for sharing your Truth!

Mommy Friend~My Truth ABout Motherhood,www.motherhoodthetruth.com

My Truth about Motherhood
by Mommyfriend

Nothing and I really do mean nothing has taught me more than motherhood. While most of my motherhood truths have been learned in a “frying pan to the head” sort of way, I’m getting at least a little smarter all the time. Or smart enough to be dangerous anyway.
I may not have all the answers, but thanks to my kids I know this much is true:
1. Every child has been blessed with a miraculous talent. It’s our job to find it, nurture it and never ever exploit it. Are you listening Dina Lohan? Didn’t think so.

2. Not everyone will love your child they way you do. I know, crazy. I have my son’s 3rd grade teacher to thank for this lesson.

3. I will always feel like I should have done more. If I spent the next 78,840 hours glued to my eldest until he reached 18 I’d still feel like it wasn’t enough. Let it go woman!

4. Time waits for no mom. Can I get an amen?

5. Follow your dreams and make sure your kids see you do it. Chances are they will because the pursuit of any dream will lead you right back to #3.
There will never be two little boys quite like mine and I’m pretty sure they’re teaching me more than I’ll ever teach them. My motherhood journey may be filled with lots of potholes and gridlock but the scenery is absolutely amazing.

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