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"women's issues"

#YesAllWomen, marriage, misogyny, abuse, The Washington Post, women's issues

Oh look, the Washington Post thinks that for women to protect themselves from being victims of violence and rape we should all get married or live with our biological fathers because hey, if we’d all just stop being such cock-teasing whores for one minute and stopped taking lovers and made honest women of ourselves, we’d never have to worry about feeling threatened and “uncomfortable” and all of this #YesAllWomen business could just go away. Coincidentally, once again placing blame on the women for being abused. I mean come on, if the b*tch wasn’t drunk and half-naked, the least she could have done was gotten married and stopped trying to be such an independent woman. That’s how she got herself abused and if she hasn’t gotten herself abused, the dumb broad probably got her kids abused because she decided to date again after leaving the crack-headed, wife beating, meth head she was married to.

It was written by two academics by the names of W. Bradford Wilcox and Robin Fretwell Wilson, whose names aren’t the only thing out of the 19th century: the article looks at a bunch of statistics in regard to violence against women and children, and concludes that “the data show that #yesallwomen would be safer hitched to their baby daddies.” 

Basically, once again, the world (more precisely the Washington Post) has lumped us all into 2 categories; whores and virgins and there is no room for gray, only black and white. The bottom line is that the Washington Post has at least two misogynistic writers who blame all women for being treated like second class citizens. Hell, maybe there’s even a secret woman haters club at the Washington Post that meets once a week and is lobbying for the acceptance of drowning baby girls because really, what the hell’s the point? Because apparently, some people think that men can procreate without women and our pesky uteri. Apart from cooking and cleaning in all of our bare footed glory, women serve no real purpose in the world other than to look pretty and be quiet, right? News flash, women are people too.

Yes, misogyny is alive and well at the Washington Post.

Men are allowed to do as they will and women are supposed to suck it up and just accept their fate. I mean WHY would any woman think that she has the right to happiness after divorce or at all, for that matter? It doesn’t matter whether the man was an abusive jerk who beat her on the regular and had started molesting their children, she is his property and she needs to just accept that and be alone and in fear for the rest of her life. If not, it’s going to be her fault when something bad happens and it will because women are like magnets for bad shit to happen so prepare your daughters.

#YesAllWomen, marriage, misogyny, abuse, The Washington Post, women's issues

Eff it, happiness is overrated anyways plus I hear only men can truly experience happiness, it has something to do with the happiness receptors being located right under the tip of their penis or wait, maybe it has something to do with being an asshole. I can’t remember. What do you expect, I was just some kid whose mother stayed with her husband and I was raised by my biological father but we all still got to experience our fair share of abuse. I guess we were just lucky.

When I was about 8, I begged my mom to leave because even at that young age, I knew that it was wrong. I knew that there had to be something more out there than just accepting your situation. I KNEW that she deserved better. That we all deserved better. But none of us got it. We all got to suffer in silence. Do I think that my life is better because of her sacrifice? NO! Do I think she is happier because of her sacrifice? NO! Did it save her from abuse, pain and humiliation? NO! This is the oldest story in the book. This is fear-mongering and it is about time we stop letting fear keep us quiet. It’s time to get mad; downright pissed off and to stand up against the misogynistic world we live in It all starts with one person willing to say no; to be the change. I’m saying no for all the women who couldn’t or haven’t. NO!

#YesAllWomen, marriage, misogyny, abuse, The Washington Post, women's issues, child abuse

Maybe life would have been better had my mom not been brainwashed into staying in her abusive marriage by a society that taught her that it was better to be miserable and have a husband, better to be abused and let your children get abused than to be alone. Thank God for a society who looks out so deeply for its women folk. No thanks, I’ll take my chances and try to decide for myself what’s best for me and my children. Unless you are living in the same dire situation that some women face every day by being abused and raped by their partners, you have no right to insist that she take it on the chin and just accept it.

Hey Washington Post until you’ve lived in the world with a vagina, why not stop skewing statistics to fit your agenda?

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bigger women, beautiful women, all women, women, happy in your own skin, body acceptance, self-love, dating a bigger woman

Yesterday, I read an article about what men think about dating bigger women. It was called 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman and kept waiting to read that it was a joke; a satirical piece written about society’s treatment of overweight women. Unfortunately, it was not. It was just one douchey guy’s opinion about men who date women who are not “hot” and rocking the unattainable, bullshit body stereotype that media would have you believe is real. It’s not. Even the skitches you see with those bodies in magazine spreads, don’t have those body types. They have photoshop. There may be 1% of 18 –year-olds who are rocking that body without medical assistance.

As a rule, women have been fighting men’s traditional stereotype of “hot” since the dawn of time. In fact, many a woman has developed eating disorders and poor self body-image to adhere to society’s standard of beauty. Let’s face it, in the United States, skinny still is the determining factor of whether or not a woman is considered hot. If you doubt my assessment, just read the article written in The Richest.  This guy is everything that is wrong with the world. He is the oppressor of women and should be called out as such.

Jim Hogue’s bullet points about why dating bigger women is settling for less than:

“Lots of times you see a guy, he could be normal sized or he could be overweight himself, with a woman that is a bit overweight. When that happens a bunch of things go through a guy’s mind. On the one hand you might feel a little bad for the guy, but on the other hand you might think that he was really in love, or at least was with someone he really liked. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.”

Apparently, men who date bigger women are to be pitied.

His List of 15 thoughts every guy has when dating bigger women.

Your Date is Tough

Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys. This guy wants a girl to hang out with that is tough, and can take care of herself. This is the kind of woman that mowed the lawn when she was growing up and went fishing with her dad. Maybe that is not the kind of girl that you imagine hanging out with, but hey, to each his own.

 

My Girl Can Cook

So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason, and usually that reason has something to do with food. While it might be fun to be out clubbing with some hot woman, it is just as fun, and maybe more fun to the right guy, to stay at home and have a woman cook for him and take care of him.

 

Calorie Counting is Out

So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself. Well, this is no problem at all with the plus-sized girlfriend; just give her a ring and tell her that you are on your way home and are picking up a large pie. The only problem is you are going to have to buy two.

 

It is Good for His Confidence

Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women.

 

He Might Like Them Better

While so many people look at a guy with a plus-sized woman and feel kind of bad for him, very few actually seem to understand that a lot of guys actually really like women that look this way. To each his own, people like what they like and there are a lot odder things that people are into than that.

 

They Are Easy to Talk To

One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women, a girl that can relax and talk is a breath of fresh air. Let’s face it, so many women that look traditionally hot have never really learned the art of conversation, and most of them are not that funny. A plus-sized woman is the exact opposite. They are used to working their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws.  Most girls that are overweight tend to be really fun, and easy to talk to about pretty much anything. A guy that dates a normal-sized girl is not used to that at all.

 

**Oh look, this asshole managed to completely insult ALL women in one single paragraph! ***

 

Picking a Place to Eat is Easy

You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food. Or it could be that you go to order pizza and you want sausage and onion and she wants feta and greek olives?  Sometimes that whole scene can turn into an enormous fight when you are dating a chick that is average-sized. Well, if you are dating someone that is plus-sized, then you don’t have to worry about this a whole lot. She is going to probably be willing to go pretty much anywhere you want her to, at any time.

 

The Cuddling is the Best

There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask?  Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. It feels like you are snuggling with your 12-year-old brother.  Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman. In fact, once you start to cuddle her, you might not want to stop. It really is that good. Overweight women should hire themselves out as professional cuddlers. Oh, and also they are willing. A plus-sized girl is going to tend to be happy for that sort of attention, no doubt about that at all. All you have to do is lay down on the couch and look at her in a sweet way, and you will get your cuddle going before you know it.

 

She is a Built in Work-Out Buddy

A thin chick probably has a pretty stingy workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. Not so if you are dating an overweight chick. She is probably going to be up for trying pretty much anything that you are into when it comes to training or working out. Sure, she might lag a little bit at first, but all that does is take a lot of pressure off your shoulders, and that is never a bad thing.

 

There is Less Pressure on How You Look

if you are dating a plus-sized woman. This is a whole new world: all of sudden kicking around the house all Sunday watching football and eating a whole bag of Cheese Doodles is more than fine. The woman you are dating is not going to care even a little bit about how much you weigh or what you eat, and that in itself can be priceless.

 

Jealousy is a Thing of the Past

Being jealous is a way of life for a lot of guys. It is one of the problems of having a super hot girlfriend. It is not like you are the only one that notices; everywhere you go people are going to be checking her out and sometimes, if you are a certain type of guy, that kind of thing can drive you crazy. And truth be told, this is why a lot of guys like dating a woman that they don’t have to worry about unwanted eyes.

 

They Tend to be Funny

Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?

A big chick is very often a really funny one, it happens all the time. It is no coincidence that so many female comedians tend to be a bit on the big side.

 

They Tend to Be Eager to Please

While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite. They are often not used to being with a guy and are insecure about it. They want you to be happy. Whether it is going out or staying in, what movie to see, or what you do in the bedroom, most of these women are eager to please. In their minds you have looked past their physical issues and are into them for who they are. Which in turn often makes them very willing, in all sorts of ways. A guy with a plus-sized girl can soon feel like a king, which can be really appealing to the guy that was getting pushed around in another relationship.

 

You Can Take Her Anywhere

She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do. Want to spend the day at the beach? She will go and rub lotion on your back in those hard to reach places. Want to spend the day doing yard work? She will probably be up for doing that as well, and may even outwork you while doing it. A typical guy that dates a plus-sized woman really gets used to hanging with someone agreeable for a change, and who quite often is up for anything. This is not to say that most hot women are not agreeable of course. Actually, who am I kidding, that is exactly what I mean.

 

They are Easy to Ask Out

Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman, so sometimes a guy ends up asking someone he is pretty sure that he will not get rejected by, which is why he asks out a plus-sized woman in the first place.

 

Firstly, who is defining what’s considered “bigger”? Is it a size 8, 10, 14, 20, 26? Is it anything above a sample size. That may be “Normal” in places where looks are all that matter and eating disorders and plastic surgery are the norm (I’m looking at you California) but it’s not in the rest of the world. And who defines beauty anyways? The media which is controlled, predominantly, by men.

 

There are plenty of fat, bald and old guys out there with wives, girlfriends and partners and no one flinches. No one feels sorry for their spouses. The assumption is that their partner loves them, not that their partner settled for them so why is it that society assumes that in order for a man to love a woman who is not anorexic, he must be settling and it could not possibly be a physical attraction? Besides, when choosing a partner, initially we are attracted to the way a person looks (that’s human nature) and then we fall in love with who they are and all their qualities that we find endearing and that is different for every single person.

 

The fact that this guy assumes that because a woman is “bigger” she is being settled for and that if is guy is dating a “bigger” girl it is out of desperation or some sort of willful act of giving up makes me sick. I also find it kind of alarming that he manages to insult all women in his piece. He basically calls skinny women unapproachable bitches that he is not up for the challenge of even attempting to date and he infers that bigger women are so needy and willing to please that he’ll settle for less than “perfect” in order to not face rejection.

As a woman who has been the thin hot woman and I know the burden of being a “bigger” woman and everything in between, I can assure you that there are plenty of men out there who want all women. Good, decent respectable men who are attracted to all types and don’t consider it settling or giving up on life to date a woman who crosses the threshold of a size 6. Only men with small minds judge women on the size of their asses.

This article is more telling about Jim Hogue’s, the author, shortcomings than anything else. Let me tell you one last thing Mr. Hogue on behalf of women everywhere of every size, none of us wants you because you are ugly to the core and that is worse than fat any day of the week. You sir deserve this week’s Throat Punch Thursday!

Throat Punch Thursday,dating bigger women

If you’d like to read the article 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman in its entirety it is here.

What are your thoughts on his take on dating bigger women?

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gender-based vioence, abuse, sexual violence, gender based violence, rape

gender-based violence, abuse, sexual violence, gender based violence, rape

Gender-Based Violence*Denial of care for women* The subjugation of women and deprivation of human rights and respect* Gender based violence is physical or emotional violence against women*Anything that doesn’t see the woman as a human being* Women are worth protecting and worth respecting* The old belief was that women are servants and used as procreation tools*

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long time but gender-based violence was something that I needed to mull over and give my full attention; the topic is that important. It is about life and death. It is human compassion. The scariest part is that this topic is not just happening in some far off land or third world country. Gender-based violence is happening right here where you live; maybe it’s next door, the next street over or maybe it’s happening in your own house. It has to stop. No woman deserves this.

Gender-Based Violence is not what I want for my little girls

The gravest threat to a woman’s life is violence inflicted upon her simply because she is a woman. How can you even comprehend or justify this sort of violence? You can’t. Enough time of being beaten down for it and eventually a woman will begin to hate herself because being a woman makes her a target for unimaginable and unprovoked violence.

Women between the ages of 15 and 45 are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined. Often times, violent acts such as rape, female genital cutting, or extreme physical abuse are used to intimidate, humiliate and discredit women, denying them political weight in society and forcing them into silent, second-class citizenship. Beyond personal injury, gender-based violence also results in unwanted pregnancies, severe psychological trauma and an increase in maternal mortality.

Gender-based violence can take many different forms, and is constantly mutating into new forms, be it acid attacks, bride burnings, rape or domestic violence. Gender-based violence is often perpetrated by those closest to a woman; a family member, her partner or a friend; someone that she trusts. About one-third of all women globally face beatings in the home. In most countries, between 30 and 60 percent of women have experienced physical or sexual violence by a husband or a boyfriend. 30-60 percent! That means it is very likely that someone that you already know has been a victim of gender-based violence. The statistics for female murder by male partners are also astounding: Up to 70 percent of female murder victims were killed by their male partners, according to the World Health Organization.

In some countries, female genital mutilation is also a concern. Over 135 million girls and women have undergone genital mutilation and 2 million more girls are at risk each year. “Honor” killings, in which a woman’s relative murders her for disgracing the family, can also be a concern in parts of the world. Women are treated like property and inanimate objects. For some reason, there is the assumption that women are put on this earth to serve only the wants and needs of others. I have news for you, we are human with feelings and thoughts and being dismissed, used to satisfy man’s sexual appetite and abused hurts us at our very core. It undermines our very sense of self.

Many governments across the globe continue to turn a blind eye to this violence. To date, 603 million women live in countries where domestic violence is not outlawed and more than 2.6 billion live in countries where rape within marriage is not considered a crime. Without legal retribution, assailants rarely face consequences for their actions and the victims are less likely to report the abuse. In many cases, women are concerned that they will be the ones punished if they report the violence. Other times, rape and sexual assault are so stigmatized that the victim stays silent even if there are laws in place. How can we in good conscious live in a world where victims of unspeakable acts are treated like the perpetrator?

Rape and these other abuses often work to keep women down. Women who have experienced such violence can suffer isolation and depression and have increased drug and alcohol dependency or even poor reproductive health. They may become unable to work or care for their families because they have become so broken from the abuse.

Gender-Based Violence Kills Hope

While laws are important to help combat gender-based violence, the main solution is to change the way people think. Two things lie behind gender-based violence: sexism and misogyny. And it’s not just the men: women too adhere to discriminatory social customs, and frequently are the ones to transmit to the next generation.  For instance, women are often the managers of brothels in poor countries or the ones who demand that their daughters’ genitals are cut. Women have been abused and treated so badly for so long that they have began to believe that they deserve the treatment, accept that the abuse is normal and even become perpetrators of the gender-based violence against other women.

It’s happening all over the world; in every country and every city, even in 2012 in the United States. Pay attention to the news; women’s rights and reproductive rights are being pushed and pulled and torn away from women by politicians who need to change their views. If our leaders view us as second-class citizens, how can we expect the rest of the men in our lives to be any different? The government makes the rules and sets the standards by which all others follow.

Since these attitudes are embedded in culture, they will only change with education. We need to help by acknowledging these harmful and sexist attitudes and traditions and refusing to accept them any longer. By not ignoring the issue we are helping quietly sanction this violence against women.

As women, we need to stand up and speak out. We need to demand that we are treated with the same respect as men. Just because we have a vagina that doesn’t make us weaker; that makes us stronger because we have always had to work harder to prove ourselves to society.  I am afraid what might happen if we don’t. Is the world you want to raise your daughter in? We need to change so that our daughters and granddaughters don’t grow up to know this devastation.

Half the Sky Movement is helping reverse this devastating trend by shining a light on these horrific acts of violence and inspiring victims to champion gender equality and safety. They are making a real difference in the world. You can see the PBS special and learn more on October 1 & 2.

We are humans* We are worth protecting* We are deserving of love and respect* We are the givers of life* We are more than just what lies between our legs*

Gender-based violence  is unacceptable

Disclaimer: This post (and my sharing on social media) was inspired by my participation in a compensated program initiated by Women Online/The Mission List to raise awareness about the Half the Sky. All commentary and opinions are, of course, my own.

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Unneeded Hysterectomies, India, Indian women

Unneeded Hysterectomies Change a Woman’s Life forever

When have unneeded hysterectomies being performed ever been moral? When did the world become so full of morally bankrupt men? If you have ever had a hair up your ass about women’s reproductive rights in the world, this is the time to really get mad. We need to get full on pissed off and say no more. We are women not animals or property, we don’t belong to men. Government has no business getting between our legs. For once and for all, stay out of our vaginas!

In India, less than respectable, doctors are performing illegal and unneeded hysterectomies on the poor women of India. I don’t mean “poor” as those poor women, I mean “poor” as in financially downtrodden. I mean poor as in they don’t have the means to refuse any medical treatment offered to them by a doctor, even if the solution to his made up problem is a complete removal of their uterus and ovaries. Who are these animals to do this to women? Why are they performing unneeded hysterectomies like they are going out of style, shirking their Hippocratic oath and removing the very essence of what makes most of us feel like women? For money!

Yes, India, the country who has already received multiple throat punches from me for aborting and killing their female babies simply due to the fact that they have vaginas versus a penis. The same country who has ultrasounds strategically placed on every corner so that perspective parents can get a refund if their unborn child has not won the Indian genetics lottery which means they are a boy. The same country who has men who still think it’s okay to mutilate the genitalia of it’s women and shackle them into chastity belts. Now, the doctors are taking it upon themselves to remove the women of rural India’s wombs by giving them completely unneeded hysterectomies because the hospital can claim the hysterectomies under a national insurance scheme. Even going so far to remove the ovaries which increases the risk for early onset of osteoporosis.

 

Doctors in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh performed hysterectomies on poor village women without a valid medical reason in order to claim money from a national insurance scheme, the state’s health minister said on Wednesday.

Under the program launched in 2008, doctors can claim up to 30,000 rupees ($540) to treat poor families, providing a safety net to help pay for expensive hospital surgeries. But critics say the program was exploited by unscrupulous doctors.

“The women were deliberately ill-advised by doctors who removed their uterus to get money,” Amar Agrawal, Chhattisgarh’s health minister told Reuters.

“As per my information the doctors have so far managed to make roughly 2 crore (10 million) rupees ($360,000) in recent months by removing uteruses without any valid medical reasons.”

The state government examined 1,800 hysterectomies performed in the impoverished state as part of an investigation into the alleged scam. Many of the operations were suspected to have been performed illegally, government sources told Reuters.

Does India hate it’s women? Or is this a growing trend in the world, where men hate the female population, or at the very least have no respect for women as being human? The world is going backwards my friends. Don’t think this just happens in third world countries someplace across the world. Make no mistake, it happens right here in the United States as well. Maybe no unneeded hysterectomies are being performed as an insurance scheme, but women are under attack. Our reproductive rights are being stripped away, piece by piece and our human worth has been compared to animals. We are in a day and time in history, when women are having the male agenda shoved down our throats and thrust into our vaginas.I am sad and sickened by the state of the world and women’s rights. We need to stand up and stop allowing ourselves to be abused by the male governing powers. We need to fight back and say no more.

India’s Unneeded Hysterectomies violates Women’s Rights

Today it’s India, performing unneeded hysterectomies, purposely aborting female babies and abandoning of killing those who survive birth. Tomorrow, it’s here…women being compared to swine, government sticking their nose into our vaginal business; how we should reproduce, when we should reproduce, if we should reproduce. This is between a couple and God. Government has no fucking business in our reproductive rights. Give women our full human rights first and then we can talk about government having any input on reproductive rights.

Throat Punch to the unscrupulous doctors in India who are performing these unneeded hysterectomies for money. May their license be stripped and may they be castrated by the women whom they have reproducibly hobbled for the rest of their life.May you be put in jail and may all of your reproductive tools be removed while you sleep, unsuspectingly. May you know the pain of having no control over the choices made on your behalf.

Just because a woman is poor financially does not give any man the right to take away her choice to have children and become a mother or determine when, why or how she has the children. Men, it’s not your fucking business. We are not children, you have no right to make choices on our behalf. You have no right to punish us because you feel that our choices don’t live up to your expectations. A woman’s reproductive parts are something that we hold as dear to who we are as men do their reproductive parts. Boo on  you for thinking you know what is better for women than we do for ourselves. You have no right to end abortion or give unneeded hysterectomies for money.

 

 Unneeded Hysterectomies is a Violation of Human Rights

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#yesAllWomen, Elliot Rodger, women's issues, misogyny, sexism, rape, shooting spree

I had no idea that #YesAllWomen movement began this weekend. I spent the weekend with my family, celebrating my daughter’s 7th birthday. Her birthday was Wednesday and we were busy every single day until her birthday party held on Saturday. 15 tiny, beautiful little girls surrounded me; little girls who still think they can do and be anything. They giggled and laughed and we played and had cake and I had no idea about what had just happened with Elliot Rodger, the 22-year-old student at the University of California Santa Barbara.He went on a shooting spree and killed 6 people before killing himself.

In the weeks leading up to the killings, Rodger posted a series of angry, bathetic YouTube videos and a hundred-and-thirty-seven-page autobiographical “manifesto,” declaring his hatred of all women for the rejection and disdain he claims they dealt him throughout his life.

I had no idea that there were other mothers who were mourning the loss of their daughters for no other reason than a mad man who felt that women deserved to die because they had rejected him. Misogyny is running rampant and no one is stopping it. Not anyone in specific, just all women in general and even men just for having sex when he was having none. This was avoidable, had anyone cared to listen. If anyone ever cared enough to listen when people ask for help.

Director Peter Rodger and his wife Moroccan-born French actress Soumaya Akaaboune said through their lawyer that they contacted police several weeks ago after seeing a series of YouTube videos their son posted which made references to suicide and murder.

I blissfully unaware soaked in every moment of my time with those girls on that beautiful Saturday in May. Not until tonight, when the girls have all gone home and my littlest girl is snuggled in bed tight next to me did I see the story and watch the video and here I sit ugly crying. Not because I am scared for my girls, for all girls, but because I am mad. I am fucking pissed off. What gave him the right? Who’s protecting our daughters?

 

What a spoiled, disgusting animal Elliot Rodger was. He thought like so many other men that women are here solely for his pleasure and when they did not accommodate he decided that they must face a day of retribution and annihilation for no other sin than being born with a vagina. This spoiled child made himself, judge, jury and executioner.

The sad fact is that the world is full of men who feel indignantly wronged by women who dare refuse them. There are men that feel that women owe them everything from their time, to their love to their very life. There are men who feel like we owe them our hearts, our bodies and our respect but they don’t feel that they need to give those things in return. In some men’s eyes, women are no better than property; a piece of furniture, a toy or an old sock. We belong to them. We belong to the world that doesn’t respect us, value us or love us enough to fight for us and they have beaten us down for so long that we let them without so much as batting an eye.

We do not buck and strain and resist, we passively walk with our heads down, quickly out of harms way for fear that what lies between our legs makes us a willing participant in the victimization of our own flesh. We can’t walk alone in the dark or leave a drink to pee. We can’t smile at a man without him taking it as consent to have his way with us. This is nothing new. Most men believe it; women accept it and it sucks for all of us.  I am a mother of daughters and I refuse to accept this fucked up status quo. This is my line in the sand. I say no more.

I do not want another little girl to go through life running from men for fear that they will be attacked. We cannot raise our girls to believe that what they wear or say or drink makes victimization their fault. We cannot accept fear as normal. We need to teach our girls to be strong; to fight back, to stand up and to value themselves for who they are, not what lies between their legs.

Sexism is nothing new; the ideas that perpetuate systematic marginalization, outright violence towards women, rape culture, and the demonization of women who dare to stand up for themselves has been around since the beginning of time. A strong woman is a threat. A strong woman is too much trouble. Women are here to be seen and not heard, to service men in every way; this is what some believe. Not me. I am a fucking human being and I am sick of everybody from the UPS guy to the local preacher to the old man on the golf course and every single stinking asshole who ever pushed up on me in a bar in between who thinks they have the right to use women and abuse women because we are here for their disposal.

He wanted to abolish sex, thereby equalizing men and ridding society of women’s manipulative and bestial natures, and to lock women in concentration camps so they would die out. (“I would have an enormous tower built just for myself, where I can oversee the entire concentration camp and gleefully watch them all die,” he wrote. “If I can’t have them, no one will, I imagine thinking to myself as I oversee this. Women represent everything that is unfair in this world, and in order to make this world a fair place, women must be eradicated.”) His idea was to imprison a few select women in a lab, where they would be artificially inseminated to propagate the species.

We have all endured catcalls and men openly touching themselves in front of us while licking their lips like we were steak. I’ve personally had strange men expose themselves to me in broad daylight, men I dated force my hand and my head to places I didn’t want to go, had male employers corner me in small solitude rooms and make unwanted advances. I’ve had drunken frat boys try to force me out of my clothes, put their hands up my skirt and drunkenly dry hump me in plain sight. No one helped. I’ve dated men who kept pushing past where I felt comfortable and didn’t care that I said stop. It breaks off little pieces of your self-esteem, it chisels away at your sense of safety and soon you feel as worthless as they make you believe that you are. When I’ve spoken up for myself, I’ve been called a cunt, a bitch, a tease and a dike because if I didn’t submit to their will then obviously it was because something was wrong with me.

I have held my breath and my tongue more times than I can count and I can’t anymore. What Elliot Rodger did was shocking but not surprising. I watched his video and physically became ill at the callousness with which he spoke of massacring women because he felt rejected and alone. He had no care for their lives, it was completely narcissistic and outrageously removed from humanity. He equated women with animals to be slaughtered and why wouldn’t he? Our own government has done so on several occasions.

Look at us. See us! We are people. We are not property. We are not animals. We are not inanimate objects put on this earth solely to bend to the will of man. We are more than sperm receptacles and objects of desire. We have thoughts, dreams, goals, wants and needs. It frightens me that this man did this with no remorse, no second thoughts. It was like a spoiled child who wanted a piece of candy and had been denied and decided that the entire population needed to be eradicated because he was mildly inconvenienced. Worse still, he is not the first who has done this and he will not be the last. This makes me sadder than any words could ever convey.

When you lie awake and think about the horrors this man wanted to inflict on women, please remember that #YesAllWomen matter.

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an apology to men, sexual harassment, me too, #Metoo, sexual assault

Dear Men,

In light of the recent Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey situations, and so many others I am realizing that these men are not the exception. That’s not to say all men are bad. In fact, some men are amazing partners, brothers, fathers and role models but something is really wrong and I never realized it until all the #METOO stories began to flood my feeds. Fundamentally, as a society, we are collectively dropping the ball.

Honestly, that part wasn’t even completely surprising to me. I’m a woman and have been living with my vagina for my entire life. I’ve always suspected that all women have been victimized to one degree or another but I never realized that part of the problem is that men don’t have a clue of how their behavior affects women.

The misconception is that if we have not been dragged into some dark alley and been violently raped by a stranger, we are lucky. We have not been victimized. But that’s not true. Many of us have been victimized and brutalized over and over again for decades.

We’ve just learned that there is an acceptable amount of assault. We’ve learned to live with it. Don’t get me wrong, we are terrified. It has left us scarred. It has left us trembling and cowering. It has robbed us of trust and safety.

We walk fast to our cars at night. We will never be afforded the luxury of a slow stroll under the stars alone to think; not without a cost of safety. We run past large groups of men. We cringe when a man pushes into us on public transportation. Cat calls give us anxiety. We avert our eyes when strange men expose themselves to us. At the end of every date, we pray that we escape without being forced against our will to perform some sexual act that men seem to feel is owed to them as payment for eating dinner with us. We don’t leave our drinks unattended. We travel in packs for protection. But you know none of this because you don’t feel any of this. I never realized it until now. I’m sorry that men have no clue how hard it is to function in the world as a woman.

The Big Guy, my husband, the man I have been with for almost half of my life is a good man. By all accounts, he is a great man, husband, father, and partner. Just ask my mom. You see, he lives his life based on the simple act of being a good person; treating others as he would like to be treated and it works. He is a kind, giving, loving man but he doesn’t understand the female condition. He’s tried but our experiences walking around in the world are so vastly different that it’s like a caterpillar and an elephant trying to understand what the other one’s life is like. It is impossible. How did I find this out? We had a conversation.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations about what’s going on in the world at dinner a lot lately. I respect my husband’s opinion and he’s very intelligent so we can have reasonable debates about most things. But painfully, I’ve realized having an honest conversation with a middle-class white man about the female condition is like talking politics with a monkey. It’s not their fault, it’s just so out of their frame of reference. What a luxury it must be.

I’ve always known that men and women are different but fundamentally, we are all human beings. We are the same species and for whatever prejudices men have about the abilities of women or their place in society, they had to concede that we are all human beings, right? I was wrong.

They know we are human beings but they can’t relate to our experience because it is so fundamentally different from their own. I was talking to a group of men who normally agree with my beliefs and politics. These are educated, feminist men and still, I was surprised at how the conversation went.

We were talking about Weinstein, who we all agree is a monster. Then, we moved on to Spacey who I feel is a definite predator; a pedophile. The group I was speaking with did more listening and less speaking. I could feel myself losing them. Then, the Charlie Sheen third-party accusations came about. We weren’t there. We have no idea what happened because the alleged victim is dead, his mother says the accusations are false and the accused denies any of it happened. Then, a new accusation about Roman Polanski that is 50 years old came up.

This is when the men took it upon themselves to circle back to Weinstein. Then it came, “Why did these women all wait so long to come forward?” I could see doubt poking its ugly head in. I could see them taking offense to the audacity of these women. I could feel myself, the lone vagina owner having to go on the defensive and have a real talk about the female condition with them.

I assured them that I believed wholeheartedly that every single woman who says she has been assaulted and shared her #MeToo story is telling the truth. I do. Maybe it feels like women are all coming forward now and maybe they are but not because it’s popular. It’s because there is safety in numbers. There is the Internet and you can tell the world without having to be given the hairy eyeball by some man who doubts you and questions your part in all of it. What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Did you lead him on in any way?

But how do you know it’s not just for attention? Why all jump on the bandwagon now!

I could feel my head about to explode.  You see all of these seemingly educated, intelligent feminist men don’t know shit about living as a woman. But then again, how could they? I don’t know much about walking around in the world with a penis.

I explained to them that we women learn at a very early age that men have the power. It starts with our father; the head of the family. The provider and protector. And if you were raised in a macho Latino family like mine, you know early on that boys are prized above girls. Little girls are taught to be subservient to boys and boys are taught to take care of women, but they are also taught that they know what is best for girls. They don’t.

Then I explained that what they don’t understand is to women, the penis is a weapon, that can be used to hurt us. To defile us. To take from us. To humble us. To punish us. That’s why unsolicited dick pics from random men not only don’t excite us, they frighten us. It’s a threat.

I’m not saying women hate penises. In the right situation, when wanted, between two consenting adults, it can be magical and beautiful. It is the coming together of two as one, perfectly. It gives pleasure and life, literally.

The guys still look unconvinced. These women were grown adult women. They were strong enough to walk away. Especially in the case of Louis C.K. Why didn’t the women run screaming from the room? Why did they ever agree when asked?

I don’t know all the details but I think all women have been in some situation with a man where he has asked of her something so unbelievable that she is like, “Sure, whatever.” (because if she were to flee from the room at the thought of something so ridiculous she’d be labeled a hysterical woman who took everything entirely too seriously.) So, you say, “whatever” never expecting what follows next. I know if I was a fan or colleague of Louis C.K. and he asked if he could get naked and masturbate, I wouldn’t have taken him seriously. I would have thought it was a bit.

The men I was talking to still did not seem convinced. But I could see them rethinking some things so, I told them. I told them some of my truth. This was uncomfortable for me because these men included my husband and two of my brothers but if we don’t talk about it, it never changes. Even though we women have no part in our assaults, we feel shame that we were victimized. We feel like we should have known better because we are raised to not get raped, not get harassed and not get assaulted. Can’t we just teach our boys not to rape, harass and assault?

I told them of the time in college when I woke up in the middle of the night frozen in place to the horror of a guy I’d met earlier that night, a friend of a friend, on top of me kissing me and touching me while I slept. No, we had not gone to bed together. We happened to be staying with people in the same apartment. I pushed him off but I felt violated and I feel that I narrowly escaped being raped but in all honesty, I have no idea what he did before I woke up.

I saw my brothers cringe. They asked why didn’t I tell them. Well, one of them was 11 at the time and the other was 1-years-old. By 19, I had had men push themselves on me more times than I could count. The protocol was to escape the situation as unscathed as possible and be thankful things didn’t go worse.

Then, I told them about the time I was a teenager working at a department store and the loss prevention guys locked me in their soundproof office at the end of the night with the two of them. Then they proceeded to tell me how they enjoyed watching me on the cameras and laughed as they matter of factly told me that they could do whatever they wanted to me in that office and no one would ever hear me.

My husband asked why didn’t I report them. I was 18. They were who I was supposed to report these things to. One was an off-duty cop. Who was going to help me? I just had to stay clear and avoid them.

There are so many instances from little-nuanced things to full-on date rape antics that I have experienced, that most women experience, that our mothers had to survive, that our daughters will have to survive all because men don’t understand. This is not an excuse. This is a fact.

Yes, men know rape is rape but all the rest is murky for them. Between the forgiveness they are afforded because of the boys will be boys clause and the lack of respect they are taught for women and the lack of reverence for the female condition, we women have to appear as irrational, hysterical females jumping on bandwagons just to get the world to pay attention and reevaluate the whole damn system.

I’m sorry that you weren’t raised to truly understand how vulnerable it is to be a woman. I’m sorry we never realized that you didn’t know until now. But the jig is up. I’m putting it out here. MOMS and DADS the onus is on you. Starting with your newborn sons, teach them to do better and to be better to our girls.

How about this: no means no! No touching unless invited to do so and keep your creepy comments and dick pics to yourself. No shoulder massaging. No ass grabbing. No pushing your penises up against us when you’re standing behind us or rubbing it on us when the opportunity arises.No brushing your hands against our breasts. No disgusting comments about our mouths or what you’d like to do with our bodies. No drugging us. No having sex with us when we’re drinking or sleeping or incapacitated in any way that doesn’t allow us to give consent. How about treating us the way you’d like to be treated, with some dignity and respect?

Men, I am sorry that you feel like all the hysterical women of the Internet are on a witch hunt for sexual predators and you are uncomfortable and afraid that some woman from your past might accuse you of some wrongdoing but ask yourself, why are you worried? Why are you dismissive? Have you behaved questionably? Ask yourselves next time, would this be okay if it were happening to my mom, my sister, my girlfriend, my wife, or heaven forbid, your little girl? If the answer is no, then don’t do it.

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Alpha Women, divorce, marriage, strong women, money, finances

Do you think as Alpha Women are taking back their “bossy” and leaning in so hard that maybe we are forcing men out?

Are Alpha Women responsible for causing so many failed marriages and entitled kids who are products of these divorces? FOX news thinks so. Wait a minute…FOX news doesn’t think, they just speak.

I recently watched this video segment on FOX news and was flabbergasted. I was sure that someone had posted an Onion piece posing as a FOX “news” piece but then again, what comes out of FOX news channel these days shouldn’t surprise me. They are the conservative news outlet and apparently, they don’t so much report the news as bend it to their will to support their conservative agenda. Or maybe it was an Onion piece? I kinda hope it is.

Apparently, as we women “lean in”, men are forced to lean out to avoid being completely annihilated. Now that a whopping 24% of women make more money than their husbands, the conservative dogma is about to implode upon itself. (Women typically make 23% less than men, so obviously if these women are making 24% more than their husbands, they are having to work just about 150% harder for that.)

In this particular piece, it was stated that social pressures in the U.S. for men to be breadwinners are what may cause the marital problems. Obviously, the answer is for women to stop being so damn Alpha and let their men do what God intended, take care of women. Only there is one f*cking problem, men don’t always take care of women and secondly, not all women want to be at the mercy of some man to make her dreams come true.

Look, our whole lives, women have been told that in order to succeed in life we need to get married and have children, keep a clean house, cook well and look good while doing it all. We are not supposed to think or have free will if it interferes with the grand scheme of things. If what we want to do interferes with what he wants to do, we are expected o acquiesce because you know… the vagina thing. Just accept our fates already. We have vaginas, they make us weak so we need big, hairy men to take care of us. Huh?

In fact, let’s back up, what constitutes ALPHA WOMEN?

Is FOX News trying to insinuate that strong women are the problem? Are we suppose to teach our girls to bend to the will of men and take less than they deserve just to make the men in their lives feel better? Because I’ve got to tell you, that will never happen in my house. We teach our girls to do their best, work their hardest and go for whatever they want. We teach them that anything is possible. I’m raising Alpha Girls.

The question was raised, “Do women LIKE being taken care of?” Well, I have a two-part answer for that. First of all, what does taken care of mean? Financial security? Shelter? Food? Or emotional support and love?

My first answer is yes! Of course, every person (man and woman) loves to be taken care of in a way that they have a partner that reciprocates unconditional love and support. Do we all like having someone in our life that will carry us through when we are down or give us a hand when we have fallen? Of course, we do. Doesn’t everyone? Do we like being financially stable and being provided a beautiful home and things? Of course, that is human nature. But do I expect my husband to provide my everything? No. He is my partner and I am his. We get through this life together. If being “taken care of” means my husband going to work every day while I stay home and work my tail off and that equals him getting to do whatever he wants while I get to be subservient, then no thank you. We take care of each other over here.

No one is leaning over crushing the other under his or her weight. Sure there are sometimes when he is the star and I let him shine and there are other times when I am leaning in so hard, he picks up all the slack. This is not him doing me a favor or me letting go of my dreams to support his. We do this for one another. No, marriage is not 100% equal all of the time. You are a fool if you think it is. But in the grand scheme of things, if you add up our years together and divide them by when ones been the star and the other has been the wind beneath the wings; it’s just about even.

I don’t make anywhere near as much as my husband does these days but when we were first out of college, I was the only one working while he interviewed for months. We lived together. There was no animosity. I worked while he looked for a job. Every night we sat down together for dinner, both of us had worked all day; one at a place of business the other at home. I appreciated everything he did for our home. I respected him for being a participant in our marriage and supporting me emotionally during that time in our life.

Once we had children, we made the decision that I would stay home. To be honest, I made the decision and he completely supported me. Since he had been home, he knew what had to be done to keep a home running. Once we had the children, he knew I was at home raising our babies. He knew all the other stuff I was doing as well and he supported me. We moved several times throughout our marriage for his dreams and now, he supports me in pursuing mine. When I go to conferences or on press trips, he is able to be flexible at his place of employment. He’ll work from home when I travel. When I have deadlines, he makes dinner. He knows how to give the girls a ballet bun. He takes them to ballet on nights when I need to host a Twitter party or have a Google chat about business.

In our home there are no master and servant roles, there are only 2 people who have loved and supported one another for the past 16 years. There are no man’s work or woman’s work, there are only things that need to get done and we do it…together. The idea that a man would divorce a committed, loving wife for making more money then him I ludicrous and only proves how stupid it is to let male pride and machismo get in the way of happiness.

In truth, the Big Guy says if I ever make enough money to be the sole breadwinner, he’d be more than happy to stay home with the girls and consult for a living. He gets pretty excited at the dream of an early retirement.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that finances most certainly can contribute to the divorce rate but that usually has more to do with a lack of money. Our philosophy has always been that as long as we have one another’s love and support and the true desire to be together, there are very few problems that we couldn’t work through. Next week, we celebrate 15 years of marriage so apparently, what we do has been working for us.

Alpha women, Alpha Men, Alpha Babies and Alpha Dogs, we love them all.

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Terry England, Georgia, COmparing women to pigs and cows

Terry England, Georgia, COmparing women to pigs and cows

Terry England; You, Sir, are no friend of the female race.I read Lawmaker Compares Women to Farm Animals To Defend His Abortion Stance on the Curvy Girl Guide last week. This post was the straw that broke the camels pig’s back for the women’s rights issue, for me. What the hell is going on in our country?

Terry England,You are a Beast

This is the jist of the post:

On March 5th, on the Georgia House floor, State Representative, Terry England, commented on a bill that would require women to carry stillborn fetuses to term or until the time their bodies “pass” the fetus on their own. What this means is, if your baby dies inside of you, however far along in development, it would be illegal to have any type of medical procedure (such as a D&C) to remove the contents of your uterus.

In effect, Terry England is saying, Hey lady, you got pregnant. Not my fault you are inept at carrying your baby to term. NOT.MY.PROBLEM. Deal with it! When God says it’s time to pass, it will naturally. If you die? Well, you are only a woman after all.

Terry England Compares women to Pigs

Oh but it gets worse, so much worse….

In a debate over Georgia House Bill 954, which would ban abortions after 20 weeks even if the baby is not expected to live, England recalled the time he had spent with livestock.

“Life gives us many experiences,” he explained. “I’ve had the experience of delivering calves, dead and alive — delivering pigs, dead and alive. … It breaks our hearts to see those animals not make it.” – Raw Story, David Edwards

Did you hear that? My fucking head just exploded!He thinks he’s an obstetrician because he’s delivered livestock. He just compared an expectant human mother to a cow and a pig.

How is that the lawmakers, who are mostly men and have no vagina or uterus, can make these laws regarding women’s reproductive rights and birth control? They don’t know what it’s like to be suddenly faced with an unexpected pregnancy, or forced to consider an abortion due to a medical anomolie. Men have no idea what a transvaginal untrasound feels like to a woman and a man can never know what it feels like to carry a baby in your womb. A man can certainly NEVER understand the pain and mental anguish it is to lose a child and then be forced to carry your stillborn baby in your womb until it passes naturally.

Terry England the difference between women and livestock is that we are not put on this world solely to provide for a man. We are actually people too. We have thoughts and feelings. I am so disgusted with Terry England and so many other politicians who have made it their plight to suppress women’s rights. We are now going backwards. Women are being treated like property. We are being stripped of our fundamental right to the control over our own body. We are being invaded by man. What next, will they pass a law here in the United States that female born babies should just be drowned at birth?

I think the Terry England’s of the world are failing to realize that without any women, the species would die out. Man can not procreate alone.Though, I am sure there is some scientist under contract to one of these good old boy politicians working on just this type of thing, as we speak. I’m sure if some of these politicians had it their way, we women would be nothing more than glorified indentured servants with vaginas. Perhaps, they will take to putting us in shackles and cutting our tongues out so that we can’t speak?

Women of the world, we need to unite. This is your call to action. We need to fight back against this type of legislation; this type of world. This is not the world that I want to raise my daughters in. We need to change the direction that this country is going in regards to women’s rights. We need to get more women into government so we at least have a fair chance. What would Susan B. Anthony do? You can bet that she would be all up in legislation, fighting for your rights to reproduce…or not. She’d fight the Terry England’s of the world, tooth and nail.

What do you think of Terry England and his comparison of women to livestock?

terry england, women's rights, reproductive rights

Terry England, I would call you the pig but that’s a terrible insult to the animal

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Latinas in business, Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

As a woman who loves fashion, one of my favorite things is jewelry. While clothes allow me to express my personality, beautiful accessories have always had a special place in my heart because no matter what my weight or circumstances, accessories always fit and make me feel beautiful.  Ladies, I know you get this.

I was introduced to Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski a few years ago and it quickly became one of my favorite everyday jewelry brands. I love versatile, high-quality pieces that I can wear on different occasions depending on my mood. I really appreciate that the pieces look beautiful and wear time and time again without losing their luster yet are affordable.

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

Disclosure: I was provided Touchstone Crystal products by Swarovski Crystal for review purposes but all opinions and love of the Touchstone Brand are my own.

READ ALSO: Every Woman Deserves Sparkle in Her Life

Some exciting things are happening over at Touchstone Crystal. Touchstone just named Graciela Balmori Head of Latina Development as part of an effort to more personally cater to it’s Latina customers. I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Balmori and getting the scoop on what her plans are for developing that initiative.

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

Q: As a Latina woman myself, I know we like our fashion and accessories, how will Touchstone market to Latinas differently than the general market? What steps will be taken to personalize the advertisement experience for the Latina market? Women of color models?

Answer:

Touchstone Crystal is part of the 120-year legendary, trusted Swarovski family of brands (www.touchstonecrystal.com).  Over the past seven years, TC has experienced fantastic success and growth so it’s very exciting for me to join the company right now.   In fact, we are the fastest growing division in Swarovski—over the last two years our sales have more than doubled! Swarovski has a rich heritage of craftsmanship, design and crystal innovation and the brand is a regular on the red carpet.  Swarovski also collaborates with the world’s most famous fashion houses and brands.

Through my role as Head of Latina Market Development at TCS I’m introducing the brand for the very first time to many Latinas and I know they will feel embraced by our thriving community of empowered women and our supportive team.  At Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski we have two offerings:   1) Our exclusively designed jewelry product line and 2) Our unique, rewarding (and proven) home-based business opportunity.

When I explored my new career opportunities with Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski, I instantly learned that TCS is built upon the same driving forces valued in the Latino sector:  1.  On-trend product   2.  Growth potential and 3. Entrepreneurial spirit.  The more I learned about how in line TCS is with Latinas, the more I felt like it was love at first sight! Our Integrated Marketing Strategy (an intentional decision not to run a separate Latina Division) has us all working in unison to support the success of every woman.

Debi, I’m glad you asked about advertising because TCS has already been featuring multicultural models in our catalogs and brand imagery.   After I joined the team, we discussed incorporating more family imagery: a daughter placing a Touchstone Crystal necklace on her mother for the first time or a young man buying jewelry for his grandmother, girlfriend, mom — or all three! We want our ads to resonate passionately with consumers because they portray the values of our Latina market while also strongly reflecting mainstream trends, too.

Q: How will you appeal to the Latino narrative?

Answer:

Latino business entrepreneurs tend to see their business as an extension of themselves. As you know Debi, as Latina women we care deeply about our families and our communities. I have met thousands of Latino entrepreneurs and read lots of research and what I have found is that there are common reasons for why Latinos start their own businesses such as the desire to provide a better future for their family, to purchase a home, to offer a better education to their children and to elevate their entire family’s financial status.

I feel very strongly about the Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski business opportunity because I know first-hand the impact it is having for real people – real women I have met or connected with online. We are already incorporating the personal success stories of Latina Consultants through our marketing materials and on social media. The real life narratives of our Latina Consultants are filled with success on so many levels for many reasons:  quality, price, ease of business, plus support and community.  Not to mention Latina women love our sparkle and style!

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

Here is a recent success story from one of our Latina Consultants:

“The best thing about this business is helping to empower women to have the confidence to pursue their dreams – big or small, whatever they may be– through my Touchstone Crystal business. I’ve rediscovered the leadership skills that I put aside while raising my family, plus my passion for helping other women and the confidence needed to run my own business.  My biggest joy is watching my two sisters, Laura and Imelda, grow in this business.  They both joined TCS a month after I did and I’ve seen wonderful changes in their incomes and their happiness! For us as sisters it’s been so much fun doing this business together. We talk on the phone every day, help each other set up events, and share business ideas.  Of course the ,icing on the cake is we get paid for sharing jewelry that we love! Touchstone Crystal truly supports us – and they are committed to our growth and success. I’m proud to share it with Latina women.”
– Martha, Touchstone Crystal Business Leader

 

Q: Will there be a new line or different pieces made to reflect the Latino spirit and the colorful culture?

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela BalmoriAnswer:

Our jewelry designs are inspired by Swarovski’s trend experts.  They explore the globe for style trends regularly. Swarovski creates new crystal colors and innovations each season and Touchstone Crystal is lucky enough to have access to this world-class expertise.  We are always listening to product feedback from our customers and consultants and we continually launch new pieces year-round…so the answer is stay tuned!

Q: How will you cater to the Latino market? What will you do to make Touchstone the go-to product for Latinos?

 Answer: 

Our goal is to make TCS the go-to opportunity for Latina women looking to start a business because we offer a fantastic income opportunity, wonderful flexibility with a great line of quality jewelry, and a business strategy supporting expansion into the Latina market.  We are welcoming Latina women all over the US to the TCS team every day.  As they say, actions speak louder than words and TCS is committed and passionate about this!   Your readers can find out more on our website.  https://touchstonecrystal.com/regional/our-opportunity-rewards

You and I both know that with a purchasing power of about 2.13 Trillion, according to The Latino Donor Collaborative, if Latinos were categorized as a stand-alone country they would be the ranked as the 7th largest country in the world by GDP, making us even bigger than other countries like India and Brazil!  Wow, right?  And Touchstone Crystal wants to give pathways to success to our community.

The beauty of starting as a Touchstone Crystal Consultant is the simple business model, a minimal financial commitment of just $139, and the heritage and credibility come with being a Swarovski company.

Swarovski is also investing in new technology to make our entire business completely mobile in every respect. We know this is extremely important to our demographic – according to Nielsen, “nearly 3 out 4 Latinos own smartphones (72%), close to 10% higher than the average in the U.S.”

Owning your own time, having the freedom and flexibility to work around the things that matter the most to you like: family events, school activities, meal times, charities, vacation time, all while having a lucrative business is priceless.  This is why I joined TCS and why I know my Latina sisters will, too!

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

Q: What is your goal for Touchstone and the Latino market?

Answer: 

At Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski we believe all women deserve to shine every single day. Our goal is to share our beautiful, affordable jewelry and offer our proven business opportunity to the entire Latina Community in the US.  We feel confident that by making Latinas feel valued and supported we will help more women accomplish their personal and professional goals.

Currently, we’re expanding in all regions and offering new Consultants training and mentorship opportunities.

Since I was raised by a mother with a home-based business career, nothing makes me happier than to pay it forward via my new role at Touchstone Crystal and to help other women achieve their dreams with our unparalleled opportunity.  My mother came to this country from Mexico as a newlywed, pregnant with her first child, with nothing but a small suitcase in hand. She was offered the opportunity to own her own direct-sales business and it changed the course of our lives – affording college educations for all of her children, several homes, nice cars, and a very comfortable lifestyle.   As a result of my Mom’s perseverance, she taught me to dream big, too.

I feel so grateful that Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski is allowing me to offer women the same kind of opportunity so that I can help other women and their families– just like my Mother did.

As the daughter of an immigrant myself, I can relate to a lot of Ms. Balmori’s story. And as a mother who works from home, I know how important it is to have the option to be there for your children and help provide financially, as well. I was raised that where there was a will, there is always a way. Aside from just being a company that provides beautiful pieces for women, Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski is the way for many women to pursue their will regardless of race, religion or circumstances. Touchstone Crystal is giving all women an equal opportunity.

Fashion, jewelry, Touchstone Crystal, Swarovski, Head of Latina Development, Graciela Balmori

Thank you Graciela for sharing your story with us and I’m looking forward to seeing all the great things to come at Touchstone Crystal by Swarovski.

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miscarriage, loss, pregnancy, I forgot, fertility, motherlode, babble.com, babble, amy klein

 

Babble.com, Babble, fertility issues, infertility, Mamlode, Amy KleinDear Babble,

What were you thinking running the article about Motherlode columnist, Amy Klein’s fertility issues, titled Should We Be Sympathetic to a 42-Year-Old’s Fertility Struggles? May I ask, were all the editors on vacation? Was there a hiatus on good judgment and common decency? Seriously, wtf were you thinking? Normally, I am a fan of Babble. Many of my friends write there and generally it’s very PG and non-threatening, a great resource for parents, but this particular post was deplorable. I know from her bio that the author is a comedienne but this shit was not funny.at.all!

And in answer to your “question” …Yeah, Hell Yeah!  You should feel sympathetic to anyone’s fertility issues because it’s a problem for the person who has it whether she is 25 or 45. Just like you should feel sympathy and compassion for a rape victim, no matter what she was wearing, how drunk she was or who she was dry humping the night she was raped. The same reason you feel compassion for patients with cancer, whether they smoked every day of their life, drank themselves into oblivion or played with radiation!

You are sympathetic because you are human and you have compassion to people’s struggles. You are sympathetic because you have not lived in their shoes and don’t know their story. You are sympathetic because you shouldn’t kick a person when they are down. You are sympathetic because you don’t want to be the mean kid on the playground; the bullying asshole that everyone else hates. But, instead, you chose to let one of your writers pen a condescending post on her thoughts on fertility issues, from her fertile high horse. Nice move; not very Disney of you, at all.

“These are the days of ugly emotions. Infertility hijacks your schedule, damages your relationship with your spouse and unleashes in you terrible jealousy of other women, women who conceive easily, without thought, without drugs, without dozens of days lost to medical intervention. Women whose biggest problems are swollen feet.”

Those seem like fighting words coming from a 42-year-old woman trying to get pregnant for the first time, I thought. Surely this woman must understand that at her age fertility problems are to be expected when trying to conceive for the first time. How could she be so angry? Didn’t she see this coming?

Moreover, like so many people do when confronted with this sort of thing, I thought, ”Are we really supposed to feel sorry for a 42-year-old woman who is doing IVF when she could just adopt?”

My head nearly exploded when I read the above part of the article. Let’s be honest, I know all about link bait and controversy. In fact, I am no stranger to controversy and I know I piss people off with my strong opinions on everything from gun control to breastfeeding but I would never make fun of a person who is physically unable to do something like breastfeeding, I don’t poke fun at the mentally ill and I certainly would never interview a mother of a child who found her gun and shot himself and ridicule her because I have one thing that this article lacks; human decency.

The article began dripping of judgment and condescension, on a parenting website. This should be a safe place for moms, not a place to be shamed and ridiculed. Then the author said she was going to give the woman the benefit of an interview, for context and understanding, only the entire interview read like this; ( paraphrased; these are not direct quotes ) To be fair: I do not know this writer or her story or her issues, I am only responding to how the piece was written. She may be perfectly lovely and may have just been having an off day but this is how I felt the piece came off and many of my FB followers agree.

Amy Klein (Interviewee) : Explanation, explanation, and explanation

Author at Babble: (dripping with condescension) You should have tried to get pregnant earlier.

Author at Babble: Why don’t you adopt?

Author: I married young because I knew I wanted to get married and I wanted to have a family. In marrying so young, I made a choice that didn’t work out and I’m now divorced, but I have a beautiful daughter. It seems that often women are cornered in these ways: wait to find someone you feel truly compatible with and enter a marriage you feel as certain as possible will last but then deal with potential fertility issues, or marry young and take your chances when you’re still quite fertile. Not that it’s always an either/or situation, but still. Based on the way things have played out for you, what advice would you give to younger women when it comes to love/marriage/babies? I mentioned on Facebook a while back that women should take the time they need to try to find a truly healthy love relationship, but that if they don’t find a great partner by their mid-30′s, they should just have a baby alone.

 

Author at Babble: That’s why I had my baby when I was young and fertile. I am divorced now, but I have my kid. Maybe you should have thought about all of this 20 years ago…when you were still fertile.

Amy Klein (exhausted and demeaned): Goes Home.

Please, Please, Please editors, read posts before they go live. Babble, I expected more from you. We all do. This post has left a bad taste in my mouth for Babble and I am sure it has for other readers, as well. Try a little human kindness when addressing the issue of fertility.

Sincerely,

Truthful Mommy

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